Ron Livingston, Carrie’s old Sex and the City b-f, was big-stacked next to me and playin’ fine, despite bitching about not being included in the Sex movie. Camryn Manheim’s BFF gal, Suzanne, took me out, the heathen, but not before telling me about the home game she plays in with a bunch of power babes, including Cheryl Hines, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi.
“Cheryl’s cook fixes us a great dinner, and then we all play,” said Suzanne, eyes twinkling at the comfy, caloric thought. "Who’s the best?" I asked. "Cheryl," fessed S. “She’s a really great player.” And without even prompting (perhaps she just knew it was on this bitch’s mind?), Suzanne added, “But Ellen and Portia aren’t very good.
“They really can’t play,” she smirked. Well, not at poker, maybe. But one must admit, they have beautiful high-stakes pusses for other activities, such as dog-removal sitches and such.
It seems like every funnyperson has less and less to bitch about nowadays—million-dollar paychecks, hit sitcoms and every A-list actress salivating over their every step. Doesn’t seem quite fair to grumble onstage while behind the scenes you’re rolling in a big pile of money with a luscious lady.
Dax Shepard, it appears, knows how to keep everyone from ex Kate Hudson to current cutie Kristen Bell following close behind, and it ain’t his sense of humor. The Punk’d punk, we hear, takes up every opportunity given to him to celebrate his abnormally sized appendage, say those who have X-changed in a variety of fashions with the dude.
Krissy B’s slowly becoming the belle of the H-town ball, espesh with her own Judd Apatow flick, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, coming out this year. Girl’s on her way to becoming the next Katherine Heigl rom-com staple (hopefully without the nicotine addiction). K.B. shouldn’t waste her time with an obvious dude like Dax, who thinks scoping out the private parts is any way to maintain a realistic relaysh. There are tons more loyal lads out there, higher on the scumbucket ladder, too. They may not be bigger than your current squeeze, Kris, but they sure as hell are better, trust.