Michele K. Short/FXWarning: We're about to run down the biggest TV moments from Wednesday night. If you don't want to be spoiled on a particular show, skip to the next!
American Horror Story: Coven: R.I.P., yet another character. Spaulding was delightfully creepy, but he had to go. After Zoe cast a spell to put his enchanted tongue back in his mouth, he couldn't help but reveal that Fiona killed Madison . Zoe, who is growing into quite the awesome witch bitch, told him he was done talking and stabbed him in the heart. Cordelia also finally discovered that her mother killed Madison, and she and Zoe decided it was time for Fiona to die, once and for all. Also, Madison found a new way to entertain herself now that she's back from the dead: sex with Franken-Kyle. Zoe catches them in the act, but instead of getting upset at their fornicating, she joins them later in what is most likely the weirdest, most morbid three-way ever.
Meanwhile, Queenie is lured to the voodoo side by Marie, who promises her a new family if she brings Delphine to her. After Delphine admits to Queenie that in the past she killed the newborn son her husband fathered with a slave, Queenie is horrified and the new besties are headed toward splitsville. Also known as, Queenie taking Delphine right to Marie, who promptly locks her in a cage and starts slicing her up to get blood for that special facial routine that Delphine was so fond of back in the day. Is it weird that we felt bad for Delphine after Queenie betrayed her? Probably.
Revolution: Something really interesting finally happened on Revolution, you guys! Way to go, power seekers, you've brought pride to your channel. All season we've seen that Aaron has some new and truly bizarre character traits and tonight we finally learned what on earth was going on beneath that bushy beard. When Aaron finally managed to turn the power on last season, he woke up a mini army of nanobots. To thank him for this service, the lil bots decided to protect him so they tapped into his memories and transformed into a the form of Aaron's childhood friend. Sheesh, this show.
The craziness continued when Horn shot Cynthia and Aaron was so enraged that he ordered his nanobot guardian angel to kill all the Patriots. And just like that, the Patriots went up in flames, however the little boy bot refused to heal the bullet wound on Aaron's injured lady love when asked. So yes, Cynthia died. In the end, the nanobots declared that Aaron's contradicting requests were illogical and they are no longer going to do his bidding.
Arrow: We're jumping right in! Tonight's Arrow featured not one, not two, but three villains wreaking havoc in Starling City—the most notable, of course, was the return of Seth Gabel's Count Vertigo. While The Count was off administering a mega-aggressive version of his drug, we discovered that Laurel is a pretty awful lawyer, Moira had a fling with Malcolm Merlyn, "many years ago," and the jury finally acquitted her from the trial. Oh, we're sorry. We forgot to mention that Moira's "fling" with Malcolm had a long-term result: Thea is Malcom's daughter! Maybe Thea should get together for lunch with Revenge's Charlotte Grayson, they seem to have quite a bit in common…
And Olicity fans were given a particularly swoon-worthy moment this evening. In order to save Felicity's life, Oliver had to kill a man—his first death since his "I'm not going to kill anyone" declaration in honor of Tommy. When Felicity apologized for putting Oliver in that situation and forcing him to make that choice, Oliver grabbed her hand and sweetly said, "There was no choice." Our ovaries just exploded.
Nashville: Last week, fans lost their minds when (ready for this?) the wife of Juliette's married boyfriend declared her feelings for the starlet and then gifted her with a big steamy kiss. But right away in tonight's episode, Juliette made it clear that she is not into either one of the twisted threesome-lusting couple. She thought they were both pervy sexting pervy pervs. (Scandal reference FTW!)
And we didn't know it was possible but Crazy Peggy got even crazier! After Teddy started asking if he could come to his wife's ultrasound appointments, she realized that she couldn't keep up the fake pregnancy charade anymore. (Seriously, what is this? Glee season one?) But rather than doing the mature thing and telling her hubby the truth, she went mega, off-the-walls, Girl Interrupted, psycho and dumped a container of pigs blood on the floor and faked a miscarriage. Congratulations Crazy Peggy, you are officially the worst character on television right now.