Kitchen Nightmares' most infamous alumni, Amy and Samy Buzaglo of Scottsdale, Ariz.'s Amy's Baking Company, want you to know one thing: "If people actually think we are like the people that we were portrayed to be on Kitchen Nightmares, we would either be in prison, an insane asylum or dead."
Or getting their own reality TV series.
The couple went viral after their episode featured them yelling at customers, threatening to tamper with food and stealing tips from employees. They're back to prove that they are not crazy.
Spoiler alert: They're as crazy as ever. Let us count the ways:
"We were portrayed in the wrong light. We were introduced to the world on the wrong foot," Amy tells My Fox Phoenix. Moments later, she reflects on their TV debut, claiming, "We were entertained by it. We were authentic. We were real."
Well. Which is it?
Amy clarified (kind of?): "We are not psychotic. We are wild and crazy and zany and nutty...but in a good way." The kind of wild and zany and nutty that would fire an employee and then call her a "poisonous little viper." That good way!
"They filmed for two days and they took 36 minutes of two days worth of film, and they put every single crazy moment together they could," Amy defends herself. Which, for those of you keeping score at home, means everything crazy they showed on the show actually did happen. Even if that was only 36 minutes of two days, that much crazy should not be happening in two days.
The couple attempts to rehabilitate their image by: 1) Passing the blame onto Gordon Ramsay, who Samy calls "a clown." 2) Passing the blame onto the Internet (Amy describes Yelp as "That four letter word! It's a four letter word for me!!") 3) Passing the blame onto customers with a conspiracy theory about someone with a rubber cockroach that's supposed to prove something, we think
As for their tempers, Amy says that she would not chase anyone with a knife. She says she uses a whisk or a rolling pill and then, with a shrill laugh, "They don't come back!" The news anchor describes her as "quite funny."
So what will their show consist of? "We can teach you how to make amazing cakes and how to work in the kitchen and be wild and our kittie cats and everything!" Amy says, giving the most insane pitch ever.
Which is only topped by her noting that her pet cats are currently in "paw-tective custody."
"We have to go out in a blaze of glory and show people how we will roar. You will hear us roar," Amy threatens into the camera at one point. "Cause we fell down, we're going to pull ourselves back up. We went from zero to our own heroes. We have to show everybody the real us. That's why we've agreed to do a reality show."
Which is a Katy Perry quote. Soooo...that's pretty wild and zany and nutty! Tune in!