Scandal, Lisa Kudrow, Darby Stanchfield, Kerry Washington

ABC/Eric McCandless

Warning: We're about to run down the biggest TV moments from Thursday night. If you don't want to be spoiled on a particular show, skip to the next one!

Scandal: Quirlie?! Chuinn?! OK, so their mashed-up name needs some work, but wow, did we not see that Quinn-Charlie pairing coming?! Yeah, that's right: Huck's former B613-er ends up offering mini-Huck (and new gun enthusiast) Quinn some serious tips. And guess who is expressing way too much interest in the life of a person in B613? Remember when Quinn was just the shy, unassuming, totally-in-over-her-head newbie gladiator?

Oh, and Olivia ends the episode by asking Fitz about his role in her mother's death, but he is not down to play her game. "I don't know what you're talking about," he says, but his devastated face admits the truth. 

Glee: They're ba-ack! After enduring four Glee-free weeks, our favorite musically inclined cast returned for the ultimate battle: Lady Gaga v. Katy Perry! While our allegiance remains TBD, the New Directions were quick to choose their sides. Sam used his shirtless—ahem, we mean singing—skills to woo nurse Penny, but love was not in the air for all of our gleeks. Marley and Jake were not the lovey-dovey couple that we remember from last season and Marley has been feeling pressured in the bedroom. How very season-one Puckerman of you Jake—and that was not a compliment. In a skeezeball move, Jake ended up asking the new Santana (apparently her name is Bree?) to go "somewhere private" so he could get his cheating freak on. Not cool, dude.
Meanwhile in New York (aka the only reason we still love Glee), Kurt has decided that it's time for a drastic career move and he's starting a band. Unfortunately only one person showed up for the auditions, but it's OK because it was the legendary Adam Lambert known in the Glee universe as Elliot. Rachel eventually joined the group as well, and the band forever known as Pamela Lansbury was born! 

The Vampire Diaries: Happiness is clearly not on the menu at the Mystic Grill. Not only did Stefan regain all of his painful memories by episode's end (and almost couldn't function under the weight of all of his evildoing and time spent drowning in the safe over the summer), but it was revealed that Amara, Silas' true love, is still alive! And she promptly drains Silas of his blood in order to become mortal. Love sucks, right? Oh, and Katherine is experiencing some less-than-ideal side effects of having her blood drained: Her tooth falls out and her hair is graying. Prayer circle for Katherine at our place and you're all invited!


Colleen Hayes/NBC

Parenthood: Please pass us the tissues while we relive Ryan's second proposal to Amber, during which he says, "My life changed the day that I met you and I don't want to spend another day of it without you." Swoon! And while Amber says yes to Ryan and the engagement ring he bought, we couldn't help but notice a slight hesitation. Hmm...could it have to do with Zach, the dummer of the band recording at the Luncheonette?

Grey's Anatomy: Why, why, why is Shonda Rhimes torturing us by having Meredith and Cristina's friendship on such shaky ground when it's the latter's final season?! In an attempt to prove to Cristina that she's a great doc, Meredith goes a bit too far during a surgery, causing Alex to step in. Yikes! And when Cristina asked her person if she could use her new 3D printer to save a baby's life, she was brutally rebuffed by Mer. Too bad Cristina and Ross take matters into their own hands, using the printer without Mer's position. Of course, Mer just happens to stumble upon the partners-in-crime, well...committing their crime!

Reign, Toby Regbo, Torrance Coombs

Bernard Walsh/The CW

Reign: It's been real, it's been good, but it ain't been real good, Tomas! After charming Mary into an engagement last week, the bastard son of the king of Portugal reveals himself as an arrogant, chauvinistic jerk-face (who killed his first wife, by the way). What a winner!  Also, he's the one who had the English ambush Bash, almost killing our favorite bastard in the process.

Natch, he had to die. Which he did when Prince Francis kills him (our future king's first kill). But all's well that ends well as King Henry tells the King of Portugal that Tomas died protecting Francis and the show made a cheeky reference as to why Tomas never appeared in the pages of history books.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: Big reveal alert: Will left Wonderland because of a girl who broke his heart: Anastasia aka the Red Queen! "If I'm a fool, it's because you've made me one," Will says to her. Hell hath no fury like the Knave scorned! And though he avoided a beheading, Jafar totally Hocus Pocus'd Will, aka he turned him to stone! So. Not. Cool. 

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