5 Reasons We’re Freaking Out That Carrie Is [Spoiler Alert] on Homeland

Why the latest twist cannot be anything good for the hit Showtime series

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

That was the collective, slow-mo, soul-crushing scream of Homeland fans last night, as we wretched in utter fear and disbelief when it was revealed that Carrie (Claire Danes) was [Major Spoiler Alert]…

Pregnant.

This fact was confirmed by the 87 pregnancy tests she apparently has been stashing away as proof of how totally pregnant—and how totally gross she is. (Use a trash can!)

Not only are we worried about what a baby might do to this award-winning show (and it had just turned around for everyone!), but we are concerned about the sweet little one's well-being.

Here are the five reasons why we really hope all those pregnancy tests were wrong:

1. THE DRUGS:  We live in a country where pregnant women are burned at the stake if they so much as smell a Starbucks latte (the caffeine!), or a piece of bacon (the nitrates!), and so perhaps we're just being neurotic here, but what will all those psych meds Carrie has been taking do to her unborn baby? We know Carrie was locked up in a mental institution, being forced to take Lithium, which according to Drugs.com (and we know we shouldn't be getting medical advice off the Internet, but still), can cause congenital birth defects. According to Web MD (again, we're not doctors here), certain bipolar medications can cause serious health problems for the baby, as can stopping medications suddenly or taking them irregularly. Which all adds up to a big ball of us being deeply concerned.

2. CARRIE:  Look, we totally believe that people who suffer from a mental illness can be fully functioning members of society and excellent parents. But when said parent is a double agent working simultaneously for the CIA and a dangerous terrorist organization who would slit her throat if they discovered her subterfuge? We can't help but envision sniper rifle lasers aiming at her little one's head. Is there some kind of Child Protective Service hotline for not-yet-born TV characters? If so, someone, quick, dial it.

3. THE BABY DADDY: Two options here.  If it's A) Brody (Damien Lewis), that means that Carrie is at least several months pregnant already (which the multiple pregnancy tests would seem to imply), and she'll have a scandal on her hands that Olivia Pope couldn't even handle. Can you imagine any plausible Homeland storyline under which Brody and Carrie run off together to raise a baby? We can too, and it's called immediate cancellation and/or shark jumpery on a level that puts Happy Days' Fonzie to shame.  And if it's B) the random guy from the convenience store, then just…Ew.  Also, what purpose would that serve the show, if Carrie's pregnancy is the product of a nearly forgotten moment with a completely unfamiliar character?

4. THE BABY: Babies have a way of ruining TV shows (Full House, Mad About You, Dexter, Growing Pains, anyone?), or at least making it harder for viewers to suspend disbelief. In reality, a new baby becomes the center of its parents' lives. The baby either takes center stage on the show and changes the focus from whatever the show used to be about, or the show kind of ignores that it exists, which is annoying. (Unless we're talking Mellie on Scandal and hilarious...And well done, Shonda Rimes.) But in most cases, a baby sucks the life out of the writers' room. And our favorite shows.

5. THE BODY: Claire Danes was eight months pregnant last year while doing hot and steamy love scenes with Damien Lewis. And now that she looks like this in Interview magazine, the Homeland producers want to knock her up on the show? Give the girl a break!