The country crooner took to Twitter to put to rest stories that he has been unfaithful to his wife, or that they are expecting their first child together.
"I just read back to back NEW stories that @mirandalambert and I are having a baby, divorcing, cheating and feuding with @cher. Must be true!," the Voice mentor tweeted on Friday, Oct. 25.
And what does he really think about the reports that the country stars are on the brink of a $40 million divorce?
"If it costs 40 million dollars to get a divorce then how will we ever afford it?!!! We had that money set aside for health care!!!" the 37-year-old said.
A fan tweeted in response to the first message about the infidelity claims, "Rule #1: The stories are never true unless the same thing is in at least 3 of them. Hope that helps," and Shelton did not miss a beat with his response.
"Oh no! So I DID have sex with a goat?!" Shelton wrote.
The couple has been dogged by contant rumors that their three-year marriage is on the rocks.
"If you're in the public eye, people are going to take shots at you," Shelton told People in May, adding that he tells Miranda, "I have nothing to hide from you. Here's my phone. Go through it. That's really the kind of trust we have. There are no secrets."