Could Louis C.K. have been Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow?
Not a chance. At least according to the funnyman himself, who recalled making the moves on the Oscar winner long before she became a household name.
While chatting it up on Thursday's Conan, Louis and Conan O'Brien were reminiscing about the first Late Night With Conan O'Brien Christmas party held back in 1993, at which both Louis and Gwyneth were in attendance.
"I got really drunk and Gwyneth Paltrow was there...and I was hitting on her and I was heavily flirting with her," revealed Louis. "I was saying stuff to her like, 'We should just get married,' and she was just taking it in stride and humoring me. But I remember thinking, 'I think I'm going to marry this really cute actress and move to California and have this whole different life.'"
He continued, "And I got really drunk and I got a trumpet and I started blowing noise into the trumpet and my face was all red and I looked down and I saw her looking at me with a 'that man will never touch my body' look."
Chris Martin is no doubt happy about that.