"I've been bad. I'm bad because I experience everything there is out there," she said, slurring slightly. (Perhaps she was celebrating her sweep of the Razzie awards a bit too much?) "Look at my table...I'm sitting at the bad table [with Diddy and Jon Bon Jovi]."
"Let's not f--k around," she added, before starting the bidding for E.J.'s fete at $50,000.
Evidently, Sharon's cheeky chatter worked wonders on the audience, 'cause she managed to get the price up to a cool $250,000—despite the fact that Ms. Es was wearing an ebony halter dress and hairdo that weren't exactly her best, but whatev.
No matter—when the price reached a quarter mil, the two competing bidders were told that Elton would like to invite them both, thus raising $500,000. Very nice, Shar-babe— you go, girlie!After that big cashola moment, Elton and James Blunt hit the stage and rocked the house with a duet of "Tiny Dancer." Girlfriend (to James, not Elton) Petra Nemcova stood on a chair to try and watch her man perform.
"He's watching at home," she offered, before slipping inside.
What the eff? Why wouldn't Freddie-stud wanna come mix 'n' mingle manically with his hottie honey? Five-year itch getting to you two?
Making it more of a fam affair were the oddball Osbournes. "Kelly had a hissy fit!" said Sharon, when asked about getting the whole clan ready.
"No, I didn't!" Kelly protested, explaining that everyone was in her room and Jack didn't want to get his eyebrows tweezed.
"Jack plucks his eyebrows?" asked one surprised reporter.
"He's got one eyebrow!" Sharon answered, as if her son's unibrow was common knowledge.
Far more interesting to moi was Kel's take on Brit's rehab rebound, since the gal has gone the sobriety route herself.
"I've been to rehab a few times, and unless you want it to work, it won't work," she said, possibly alluding to baldie Brit's blink-and-you-miss-her stints in rehabilitation centers.
"I wish her all the luck in the world," she continued. "She must be really suffering right now. I think they should leave her alone."No-go on that one, babe. Read on for more on my Britney patrolling latuh in the column (sorry).
—Wiseass Zach Braff, when I asked him, at the Independent Spirit Awards, natch, when he was the most independent himself
Interesting that Zach takes no chances on evah droppin' his soapy stuff. Wonder who else is in there with him?
Über-butch, too, was former Paramount Pics honcho Sherry Lansing, who received one of those Jean Hersholt humanitarian jobs. Backstage, after Tom Cruise practically salivated all over Lansing onstage (all the while Tom's número dos wife-unit, Nicole Kidman, practically barfed on her crimson bows), I asked Sherry about her presenter and good bud's rocky career, as of late.
"What advice would you give him now?" I pressed in regard to the man who got dumped by Paramount so publicly (a story I broke) last summer.
"He doesn't need my advice," Sherry insisted, all smiles and red chiffon.
"What are your thoughts on [Paramount CEO] Sumner Redstone's public chastising of Tom?" I asked.
"I know Sumner very well," Lansing replied evenly. "I have no idea."Is that not the ultimate Hollywood oxymoron nonanswer, or is Sherry still planning on working with both dudes for many more years to come?
Darren Banks/Splash News
Britney Spears may have lost her mind, her hair and even that hot bod, but no matter the disaster of the day, she remains in the prayers and thoughts of all the beautiful people—who still have their sanity and careers intact, here in the cruel, heartless City of Fallen Hair Extensions. First, we had my chat with Jen Hudson from the Oscars, where Jen said she'd get down on her knees for Britney (to channel godly energy, darling, nothing more).
And, before that, the get-well wishes I coyly collected at Hudson's pre-Oscar bash were sweet and not surprisingly well rehearsed. Marques Houston told me to relay this to Brit-babe (on a bit of the snide side, may I add): "Grow your hair back!"
That sounds a lot more like advice than a feel-better wish (which is what I requested) to me! M.H.'s more compassionate but less mattress-worthy bro, Omarion, preached these words to Brit-doll: "Please pick up a Bible. Believe in a higher power, however high that is. And just take care of yourself." Amen to that.
Jared Leto, at Pure Nightclub in Las Vegas. After performing with his band 30 Seconds to Mars, Jare headed over to the club, where he lounged on a VIP bed with a large group of femme friends. Sounds like a sex-ay time, if you're into that type, natch. Or maybe these hons were just exchanging makeup tips? Perfectly perky partyers elsewhere included...
Jennifer Garner, in a black coat and ponytail, at the Miramax/Jo Malone pre-Oscar party at the Sunset Tower Hotel. Jen couldn't have been more polite when I asked her who she was pullin' for. "I'm rooting for Peter O'Toole...and Ellen DeGeneres!" she said with a smile, until strangely coiffed hub-unit Ben Affleck suddenly appeared and ended our chat session. The nerve! Another hairy couple out 'n' about was...