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This Week in Miley Cyrus: Everything That Happened After Miley Twerked at the MTV VMAs

Miley Cyrus, Twerking, VMA Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

The course of history has been altered forever. Last week, before August 25, 2013, will now be qualified as the time Before Miley Cyrus Performed at the MTV Video Music Awards. Everything since is a dark abyss, an abyss in which you are forced to question what you thought you knew as true. 

All because Miley Cyrus twerked.

In a way, we were warned. Last Friday, Miley Instagrammed a picture of herself, licking a giant pink teddy bear costume. "Dear VMAs, I am about to f--kkkkk yoooooo s--tttttt uppppppppp. Love, Miley" she wrote.

Looking back, we couldn't have known she would also f--k all our s--t up, too.

This has been a week in Miley: 

NEWS: Find out why Miley made our list of the 10 best things in pop culture this week!

Sunday:

In the hours leading up to the VMAs, Miley released the cover to her upcoming album, Bangerz, and a new track, "Wrecking Ball" (which is not so much a banger as it is just a ballad). Then, this happened...

Miley Cyrus. Twerking. Miley Cyrus twerking on Robin Thicke. Miley Cyrus twerking with her black dancers. Miley Cyrus stripping down to a nearly naked two-piece and twerking. Twerk. Twerk. TWERK. 

We had questions. We would not get answers (she was too busy maybe recording with Kanye West).

PHOTOS: Look back on some of Miley Cyrus' most outrageous quotes!

Monday:

Miley Cyrus, Foam Finger Kevin Mazur/WireImage, Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV

The 24 hours after Miley Cyrus twerked at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards were jarring, to say the least. As the world was coming to terms with what had happened to us, Miley spoke: 

"Smilers! My VMA performance had 306.000 tweets per minute," she tweeted. "That's more than the blackout or Superbowl!  ‪#fact." She also excerpted compliments from a Rolling Stone recap of the awards. 

And then the memes began (because of course the memes began). And the ratings arrived and they were bigger than ever. And the rumors started (Did Miley's camp freak out over the performance?) and were quickly squashed (No).

VOTE: Miley Cyrus vs. Britney Spears in this nearly-nude VMA Fashion Face-Off!

Tuesday:

Miley Cyrus Twitter

It was on the third day that the Parents Television Council finally spoke (what took you so long, PTC?!), lamenting, "MTV has once again succeeded in marketing sexually charged messages to young children using former child stars and condom commercials."

One person who did not speak out was Miley's father, Billy Ray Cyrus (a member of the PTC, FYI), who canceled an appearance on Piers Morgan Live at the last minute. He did issue a statement to E.T. that "she's still my little girl" and he loves her "unconditionally."

Meanwhile, Miley, who sources said "got caught up in the moment" at the VMAs, was on a video shoot for "23," where she TwitPic-ed her ass.

NEWS: What happened to Miley Cyrus?! Her biggest controversies and scandals

Wednesday:

Miley Cyrus Luca Chelsea / Splash News

Billy Ray finally spoke out. Kind of. Through Miley. Who tweeted

"'Mile, if twerkin woulda been invented.... And I had a foam finger.... I woulda done the same thang you did.' - DAD"

(Let that mental image soak in for a second.)

As humanity tried to pick up the pieces, both Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke jetted away from Hollywood (separately). But Miley didn't need to be around to make headlines: Instead, a leaked track by her and Justin Bieber called "Twerk" (because of course it's called "Twerk") surfaced. 

Oxford officially added "twerk" to the dictionary. Was it because of Miley Cyrus? It wasn't not because of Miley Cyrus.

Also, her yoga instructor went on record saying Miley has a "hot" body.

NEWS: E!'s Beginner's Guide to Twerking: What is it? And how do you do it?

Thursday:

Four days post-twerk. The inventor of the foam finger speaks out, blasting Cyrus for "taking an honorable icon and degrading it." He hopes that she will "outlive the event" and also "survive it."

Friday:

All is quiet on the Miley front. But they say it's quietest in the eye of the storm.

PHOTOS: Check out the most controversial moments ever from the VMAs

Here is a comprehensive list of everyone who has been quoted with a review of Miley's performance at the VMAs:

Donald Trump: "Miley, don't let them get you down. They're all jealous!"

Cyndi Lauper: "That was girl gone wild. So sad, so sad."

Adam Lambert: "Why is everyone spazzing?...She's doin something right." 

Lance Bass: "Hannah Montana was...naked and humping a finger." 

Pal Mandy Jiroux: "Miley has been twerkin' and booty poppin' since I've known her."

Sherri Shepherd: "She's going to hell in a twerking handbasket." 

Brooke Shields: "I do not approve. I feel like it's a bit desperate."

Kelly Osbourne: "Put your f--king tongue in your mouth."

One Direction: "It was a lovely, played-down performance." 

Justin Timberlake: He was apparently "a little angry." 

Kelly Clarkson: Probably called Miley a "pitchy stripper."

Kendrick Lamar: "It was shocking [but] I was definitely interested."

Nick Cannon: "I appreciate her twerking...Twerk away!"

Robin Thicke's Mom: "I can never unsee it."

None of us can, Mrs. Robin Thicke's mom. None of us can.

PHOTOS: Check out all of Miley Cyrus' sexiest selfies (there's a lot of 'em too)!

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