Nick Kroll is on the case.
"James, honestly, what happened with you and Hathaway?" the star of The League dug in during the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco, premiering on Labor Day.
"Did you guys [bleep]?" Kroll pressed.
The smiling man of the hour merely shrugged.
"You know what, you're a gentleman, you don't have to answer that," the roaster agreed. "Just squint once if yes."
And what do you know, Franco squinted. But surely that was just to be in keeping with the tone of the night: pure raunch and irreverence. (Though wouldn't it be awesome if Hathaway was piped in via video for the actual telecast to share her side of the story?)
"Quick reminder that if at any point tonight James fully opens his eyes, there will be six more weeks of summer," Kroll informed the audience.
Aziz Ansarialso got in on the roasting action, musing out loud, "So many gay jokes tonight! Wow, so many gay jokes about Franco.
"Apparently if you're clean, well-dressed and mildly cultured, you're super-gay now," the Parks & Recreation star said. "Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, d--ks are just going to fly into your face?"
We'll just have to watch the show to find out what, in fact, they really think.
The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco premieres Monday, Sept. 2, at 10 p.m., featuring Seth Rogen as roast master and additional skewering by Kroll, Ansari, Jeff Ross, Sarah Silverman, Andy Samberg, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader and Natasha Leggero.