To quote Jay Z himself, "I'm on to the next one, on to the next one/ I'm on to the next one, on to the next one/ I'm on to the next one, on to the next one/ I'm on to the next one, on to the next one."
("Hold up! Freeze!")
That's the sentiment one heartbroken hyphen is feeling after the artist formerly known as Jay-Z decided to end their nearly 19-year relationship. But instead of wallowing in the breakup with a bottle of wine and the complete box set of Sex and the City, the hyphen is looking for a rebound hookup.
And he (She? It?) has turned to Craigslist (as all single and horny hyphens do) with an ad titled, "Single Black Hyphen seeks understanding apostrophe - 19"
"SBH (Single Black Hyphen), recently single, looking for love...and understanding," the listing reads. "A little about me: I've just ended a long relationship. (In fact, I was dumped...after 19 years—by someone I felt part of and thought I could trust…Still hurting."
The ad continues, "My ideal partner would be...a fellow punctuation mark—one that knows what it's like to be discarded…Maybe because I'm sensitive about my height—it's non existent; I'm flat—I have a thing for apostrophes. They're so tall, so erect. So useful...which is how I used to think of myself."
Though we have a feeling if Ke$ha ever decided to change her name to Kesha, Jay Z's former hyphen might be willing to spice things up with a dollar sign.
The ad ends with, "Photo gets photo," which is the respectable way to conduct yourself on Craigslist.
Though Camp Jay Z says the actor has been hyphen-free for three years now, Billboard editor Joe Levy "broke" the news earlier this month, tweeting, " Jay Z has dropped the hyphen from his name, according to his label. I am not kidding. (Wish I was.) Copy editors: take note."
Jay Z was born Shawn Corey Carter. Rumor has it his birth name is on Tinder, if you're interested.