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Man Capsize Boat Tuna

USCG

There seem to be two storylines that keep happening over and over again this summer: Fast food employees being absolutely disgusting (see mostly recently: Subway employee who apparently put his penis on sandwiches) and the monsters of the ocean fighting back.

Today, our summer series continues: Stay Out of the Water, Part 3: Tunapocalypse! 

Anthony Wichman, 54, of Koloa, Hawaii was out fishing when he hooked a 230-pound Ahi tuna (yes, you read that correctly: Two hundred and thirty pounds). "The second gaffe went straight into the fish's eye and that caused the fish to take a final dive," his daughter Anuhea explained to KHON2

She continued, "And he dove straight down, and the line wrapped around my dad's ankle and pulled him overboard." The fish also capsized his 14-foot boot and nearly drowned Wichman.

"In his mind, he thought he was dying, that he was gone," Anuhea recalls. The fisherman freed himself enough to use a water-proof cell phone to call his daughter, who says, "All I could hear was him hyper-ventilating and puking."

He managed to get a few words, like "sinking" and "Coast Guard" out too. Coast Guard located Anthony by tracking his cell phone GPS. He only suffered bruising and rope burn, CNN reports

"It seriously is a miracle," Abraham "Aba G" Apilado, a fisherman friend at the scene claims. He could be referring to: 1) the fact that the giant fish was still hooked (and he got to keep it). Or 2) Wichman lived to tell the tale.

"Everything that could of went wrong went wrong," he continues. "But at the end, everything that could have gone right, went right at the end." 

In other terrifying ocean news, divers in Souza Rock, Cali. were nearly swallowed by a humpback whale:

You don't know what's out there: Super-sized tuna. Jaws. Those aliens from Pacific Rim.

Stay safe, people. Stay on land.

Especially you, Kelly Rowland.