BBC Reporter Blasts Royal Baby Coverage: "None of It Is News"

Simon McCoy is not-so-anxiously awaiting the arrival of Kate Middleton's child

By John Boone Jul 22, 2013 5:51 PMTags
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You're having a baby! And you're having a baby! We're all having a baaaaaby! In the wee hours here in the U.S. (or 6 a.m. local London time) Kate Middleton, the soon-to-be mother of The World's Baby, went into labor.

We're all going to be parents anytime now! Actually only Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge and her husband, Prince William will be parents, but we can all be like cool uncles and aunts.

But not everyone is enjoying the grand ole' labor party: Simon McCoy, of the BBC, is one of the reporters stationed outside the Lindo Wing at London's St. Mary's Hospital and he's not trying to hide his lack of enthusiasm:

NEWS: Kate Middleton is in labor—get all of the details now!

"Thank you...Well, plenty more to come from here, of course. None of it news," the news vet bemoaned on air. "Because that will come from Buckingham Palace, but that won't stop us..."

As to the second part, he's partially correct: After the baby is born, a man or woman will leave the main entrance of the Lindo Wing with the signed medical bulletin. This means that Kate has given birth.

The royal has landed!

From there, the bulletin is taken to Buckingham Palace, where it will be put on an easel in the Palace courtyard. That is where we will learn whether the royal couple had a boy or a girl and possibly the baby's name (the "news," according to McCoy).

So until the birth happens, the bulletin is signed and sealed and the messenger leaves to deliver it, the 24-hour news cycle is being used as a royal baby trivia contest of sorts (fun fact: the easel that will be used to display the birth bulletin is the same one that displayed William's!), with the brick backdrop that is the Lindo Wing.

"Not everybody is enjoying the specter of the speculation, the endless speculation," McCoy laments in another segment. "Couple of texts coming in to the BBC, ‘Come on BBC, people do have babies. Stop saying the same thing over and over. Give us the rest of the news.'"

"'What a load of sycophantic rubbish,' says another. "Good morning," he continued reading. "‘God help us if this ends up a long labor.' That's a view that I have heard expressed here by a couple of people. So, you know. We'll just wait and see." 

So if you're not into facts about the monarchy, tune into BBC to watch Kate Middleton give birth to Simon McCoy's emotional unravelling.