Kim Kardashian's mama threw us for a loop Monday on The Kris Jenner Show when, after telling the audience she was introducing us "to someone special," she emerged with a dark-haired baby. She even posted a picture of herself and what we all initially thought was Kanye West and Kim's daughter on the show's Facebook page, captioning it teasingly, "You never know who will stop by our show today #WatchKris"
The audience, which included Khloé Kardashian Odom, Kourtney Kardashian, Brandon Jenner, Leah Jenner and Chelsea Lately's Heather McDonald, went wild! But Kris cutely handed off the tot to her stylist, explaining that Nori will not be appearing on her talk show.
"That would be kidnapping," she said. "I wouldn't do it to Kim—just give her some time and peace and she'll be out showing her off herself."
The proud grandmother did divulge some details about Kim giving birth on June 15! After her cohost for the day, Cameron Mathison, asked how she got Kim to Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A. "without anyone seeing," Kris launched into the backstory.
"I was doing Good Day L.A., they had sent a limo for me to do it, so I was offline as it's live TV," she said. "I hate opening my BlackBerry after that, and then I've got an email from Kim marked 'urgent.''
Kris initially thought Kim's read-me-now email was something related to the Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs-signed Apple mice she was planning to surprise Kanye with on Father's Day. But when she opened it, it said, "I have to have the baby today. Get here today, fast!"
Immediately, Kris asked the limo driver to please make a "pit stop" at Kim's house—where the paparazzi were waiting.
"But we get Kim in the limo, and I start trying to put the elaborate plan we had set in place for five weeks away with decoy cars and security, thinking, how am I going to do this?" she said. "I call my friend for a decoy car, and the plan is to get to the hotel and switch cars."
"We go to the hotel, Kim's under the blankets tapping away on her phone and I'm like, 'Who are you emailing?'" Kris said, to which her daughter replied, "I'm emailing Steve Wozniak!"
Kris told her daughter, "Could we stop with the Woz?! Let's go to the hospital!"
"We get to the hotel, and we're so smooth, but when Kim pops up, I see Steve Wozniak and his wife, Janet, standing in the foyer," she said laughingly. "Kim then heads over like nothing's wrong to chat to Steve and Janet. She's acting like she's at a cocktail party and I'm panicking."
"Finally we get in the getaway car," Kris continued. "And Kim lies down and then yells, 'Mom! Hit the floor!' We're in a Mini-Cooper and there was no room, but I did it."
Once they arrived at the hospital, Kris explained the duo entered through "a secret elevator and through the kitchen, and then we have a baby."
"I went back on Father's Day and guess who was in the room?" she said. "Steve Wozniak!"
Tune in to Keeping Up with the Kardashians on Sundays at 9 p.m., only on E!