MTV is re-airing one of the most important pieces of art in the history of television—nay, in the history of the world. It's a tale about love lost, love found, love found and then lost, love lost and then found somewhere else and the youth of America uttering words like "dunzo." We are of course talking about Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.
Starring queen Lauren Conrad and that girl Kristin Cavallari, Laguna Beach chronicled the lives of a group of rich kids growing up in Orange County, Calif. It was just like the television show The O.C., but like…real! Anyway, MTV is airing a Laguna Beach marathon starting this week, which means we will be watching it in the most un-ironic way possible. Let's kick off this Laguna-watching no-shame spiral with our five favorite moments from season one and two, which are the only seasons that matter, OK? If you think season three is better we bite our thumb at you:
1. Kristin and Stephen's Cabo Fight: The episode titled "What Happens in Cabo" in season one was meant to be a play on the popular vacation phrase: "what happens in INSERT PLACE HERE, stays in INSERT PLACE HERE." Unfortunately, the Laguna Beach doc crew was there in Cabo, which means they captured Kristin dancing on the bar in a short skirt while her sometimes boyfriend Stephen "One Tree Hill Clean Teen" Colletti watched in a jealous rage. Did he take a deep breath, count to ten and then calmly tell Kristin how unappealing her actions were? Nah, he got into her face and called her horrible names, and she cursed right back at him. Ah, young love.
2. Fashion Show Faux Pas: Jason, you had the pleasure of dating the lovely Lauren Conrad, even though you were still in high school and she was older and more perfect than you. She invited you to a fashion show she was helping with, because she thought her boyfriend should be there for support and whatnot. And what did you do? You kissed your ex-girlfriend Jessica in front of Lauren and all her friends. Did you think you were invisible? Did you think your scruffy, patchy beard was a mystical cloaking device of some kind? And then you had the audacity to deny it! Like Lauren and all her pals don't have eyeballs and brains that can process situations that are unfolding in front of their faces. You kissed your ex-girlfriend while you were dating Lauren. In front of her. At her fashion show. Shame on you, Jason. Shame on you. You made her cry! We won't ever forgive you, even though Lauren did.
3. Hate Is Black and White: The very first episode of Laguna Beach introduced us to the rivalry between Lauren and Kristen, a rivalry that took center stage during a party thrown by the senior girls. The theme? Black and white. You'd think Kristin being the devil she is would be dripping in black attire, but she wore white, and she also wore a bored expression the entire time. And that pissed off host Lauren, prompting her to threaten to literally pick Kristin up and remove her from the party if she complained one more time. A beautiful feud was born on our small screen, and we were more than ready to choose sides. Team Lauren!
4. Cabo Fight, Part Deux: What is it about that Spring Break location that turns the teenage angst to 11? The Jason-Jessica-Alex M. love triangle was one of the most entertaining parts of season two, and it reached critical mass when Jessica and Alex M. had a big, fat catfight outside a club in Cabo. Alex got all up in Jessica's face, she whined back about being sorry, curse words were tossed around a lot. It was epic, but then it got sad when Jess called herself a slut and Alex laughed in her face. Still one of our all time favorite reality TV fights ever, though.
5. Lauren's Airport Surprise: The season-one finale was all about Lauren and her friends graduating from high school and heading off to college. Our heroine was heading off to San Francisco to start a new life away from the small beach town she grew up, but someone very familiar was waiting to pick her up from the airport. The music swells and it's….Stephen! LC and Stephen never made it work romantically, but for that moment, fans of the duo had a sliver of hope as they embraced at the airport, ready to tackle San Fran together.
Oh, don't worry. We did not forget about the fact that MTV will also be airing The Hills again after the Laguna Beach marathon. It all leads up to a special never-before-aired alternate ending to The Hills on Aug. 9. We're already jotting down our favorite memories, scenes and catchphrases from Lauren Conrad's life in Los Angeles, and you better believe "I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you" is at the tippy-top. And before we go any further, we would just like to say that we would be honored if Lauren Conrad slept with our boyfriend. Think about that, Audrina Patridge. Think about it.