Frank Ockenfels/ The CW Woo-hoo! I've just gotten a copy of the 90210 pilot script, as rewritten in late April by Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah off the original Rob Thomas version! It's so hot it's burning my fingers, so I'm tossing all the heat out to you in the form of the highlights rundown herein.
The CW's new 90210 series is, of course, the story of the Mills family as they migrate to Beverly Hills to mix and mingle with the beautiful people.
Click in to find out what happens when they first get there!
- It's all Jessica Walter's fault! Mama Bluth, now Tabitha Mills, is the reason the Mills family moves to Beverly Hills: Apparently when she's tipsy she tips over and her son Harry (Rob Estes) doesn't think she should be living alone anymore, so the Mills fam moves from Kansas to California to be with her. We also learn within the first three pages that Grandma is an actress who was known to do full-frontal nudity back in her heyday. Nice.
- Papa Harry Mills is a West Beverly alum, and he has a sexy past with the mom of the most popular girl in school. He's also, of course, the school principal, which keeps him right in the mix with his misbehavin' kids, Annie and Dixon, and all their wild new friends.
- Dixon (Tristan Wilds) is your new boyfriend. The best character is easily crazy drunk grandma Tabitha, but you won't want to boink her as much as you'll want to boink (and just hang out with) Dixon. (I also have might have a small crush on Quiz Bowl team captain Navid Shirazi, on paper, at least...)
- Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth) is the high school guidance counselor and theater department costume director. She is introduced with the parenthetical "You know her, you love her." Yeah we do.
- Team Bad Boy: Ethan (Dustin Milligan), the lacrosse hottie, is dating Naomi (AnnaLynne McCord), the popular mean girl, but methinks he'll be makin' time with Annie Mills (Shenae Grimes) before too long.
- Team Good Guy: Annie's long-distance boyfriend, Jason, doesn't stand a chance against the shiny new world of the West Coast. Right?
- Silver (Jessica Stroup) has a secret. And it's a pretty good one—although if I tell you that this kind of thing was once a Lifetime TV movie, you'll laugh. However, I think this show will carry it off in a very interesting way...
- "Don't shop on Robertson!" Wisdom for our time, or blasphemy?
- Proof that I am very old: Back in my day, they didn't say s--t and ass on TV, there was no implied mutual masturbation/cybersex on the teen shows and underage illegal drug use on broadcast TV was about as acceptable as kids playing with plutonium. Come on Nancy Reagan! Don't give up on us now! The kids are, gasp, saying yes!
- Quibble: I think bartendresses is not a word. If it is, it should not be.
- Quibble, the second (Spoiler): I would personally not recommend describing the sexy teacher as a Ryan Gosling type and then giving him a drug problem. Because, like, wasn't Ryan Gosling in a movie about a sexy teacher with a drug problem?
- OMG! Scandalous reveal on page 60! Dirty secrets from the past revealed! I can't tell you or it'd ruin it, but it's going to be deliciously complicatory. (Yes, I know, complicatory is also not a word!)
What do you think? Anything catch your fancy? Anyone else seeing a Brenda-Dylan-Kelly triangle redux in the form of Annie-Ethan-Naomi? Got a guess about Silver's secret? Post in the comments.