E! Loves - Category Header 920x60

News/ 

17 Lessons in Celebrating America From Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson

  • Share
    0
  • Tweet
    0
  • Share
    0
  • <> Embed
Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman
Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman NBC

Happy Birthday, America! It's time for a weekend of people gathering around grills so they can critique someone's meat-cooking technique (don't flip it yet!), fireworks being set off in unnecessarily close quarters and lots and lots of freedom of speech. If you are wary of venturing out to the barbecues and pool parties and whatnot, let the most America-loving man ever to grace our television screens, Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman), properly prep you for the big holiday.

Just follow these 17 Ron Swanson-approved guidelines and your Fourth of July will be the best one yet!

RELATED: Ranking Parks and Rec's best recurring characters

1. Don't let people judge you for bringing an oversized drinking container to a barbecue. If your cup is "toddler-sized," then so be it. Giant devices used for holding liquids are what make this country great.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

2. Ice cream is best enjoyed using slow and lazy licks.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

3. Dance as if no one is watching, but remember that they definitely are. Especially your Aunt Judith. She's always watching.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

4. Feel free to really enjoy the buffet offerings. No regrets, no mercy.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

5.  But if you don't like something at the food table, don't be afraid to show it. In fact, let your opinion of the party be heard loudly and often. Shaming the hosts is a grand American tradition.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

6. Remember to say "America" at least once during every conversation, even if it has nothing to do with the subject. If you can't get from "Matt Damon's new ponytail" to "America is great" in less than three steps, then what are you even doing with your life?

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

7. Drink in moderation. Try and stay classy so you don't end up shouting "I'm a majestic manatee!" before belly-flopping into the pool like you did last year.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

8. If you didn't drink in moderation and you have a hangover the next day, be sure to hit up the nearest diner for some sustenance. 

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

PHOTOS: This Fourth of July, follow your fav celeb and wear red, white and blue

9. We get it, you don't like people. We don't either. But it's America's birthday, so try and get along with everybody. 

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

10. There might be games involved at the party, so be a good sport and remember to have fun. Unless you lose, in which case you should destroy everyone in a 10 foot radius.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

11. Mind your manners when eating. You don't want to embarrass your date. But if you're dateless, go nuts. Eat those chicken wings in one bite.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

12. There will probably be children at the gathering you are attending, so try and be nice for their sake. Refrain from using terms such as "devil spawn" and remember you were a kid once, too.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

13. Don't be afraid to let loose. It's America's birthday, damn it! Show some respect and wear some spandex. 

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

 14. Embrace the meat. That's not a sexual term; that's an eating term.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

15. Be the first person at the table where the booze is. No exceptions. Get there however you can as quickly as you can.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

16. Teach every single human at that party about U.S. History.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

17. Basically, there is no wrong way to celebrate our beautiful country if you do it like Ron Swanson. He is a true American hero.

Ron Swanson 4th GIFs

Have fun and be safe out there!

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
  • <> Embed

PHOTOS: All the hilarious newspaper covers from Parks and Rec

FROM AROUND THE WEB
MORE ON EONLINE

RELATED VIDEOS:

Most Read
Selena Gomez
New Pics
2015 MTV VMAs
MORE PHOTOS