Leave it to Jimmy Kimmel to use other people's troubles as material for a hilarious punchline.
During his show last night, the late-night TV host explained the story behind his black eye and gash on his face. But it wouldn't be like him to just tell the audience what happened, so he delivered the deets through an entertaining reenactment video.
"You probably noticed that my normally perfect face has been damaged," Kimmel said. "I want to apologize to those of you who came specifically to see it [my face] but on Saturday my fiancée and I went to lunch...I actually put together a little reenactment of this, so I'll show you what happened."
The video featured his soon-to-be wife Molly McNearney and a hunky stand-in posing as the comedian, who was dressed in nothing but a pair of jean shorts to show off his ripped abs.
Kimmel then began to explain that the pair went off to eat at Spago in Beverly Hills, and when he got up to feed the meter some more change, he was attacked—by his own car door.
"I hit myself in the cheekbone with the corner of the door. But I got the quarters and put them in the meter and I walked back to the restaurant. My face hurt but I didn't realize I was bleeding."
But the blood running down his face wasn't about to stop Kimmel from enjoying a nice meal, so he continued to eat with his left hand while applying pressure to the wound with his right hand. After the duo was done eating, the celeb went to the hospital and got 11 stitches.
"You know I've never had the doctor sew up my face before, I feel like one of the Real Housewives or something. But I learned an important lesson, and that lesson is: car doors open outwards," he said, before bringing Paula Deen and her N-word controversy into the mix.
"And my eye keeps on getting blacker. My eye is so black right now Paula Deen apologized to it."