You know how people get so invested in the lives of their pets that they create social media accounts for them, assuming that everyone they know is equally invested in their pets life? Justin Bieber is that kind of pet mother too!
But unlike the Facebook page you have set up for Sparkles (that has only two friends—one of which is you, sad face!), people actually are invested in the life of Bieber's new cat, Tuts. Such is the great burden of being a Belieber.
That's why Tuts has her own Twitter account: @mrsgarfieldx. It's unverified (#notswaggy), but appears to be a great source of insider information on Bieber ("justin smells so good"). Does your cat think you smell so good? Didn't think so.
Tuts' account follows Justin Bieber (duh), Jazmyn Bieber and Jaxon Bieber, a broad spectrum of Lils, including Lil Za and Lil Twist, someone named @swaggy and Pattie Mallette (Justin's mother, Tuts grandmother).
"Yes, Justin Bieber is my owner. I have many other great qualities besides being his pet haha! No really," Tuts profile reads, a spoof of Pattie's own bio (swap out owner for son).
And Tuts isn't afraid to rub his celebrity pet status in your face: "all around the world beliebers want to be me," she purrs as she adjust her gas mask and dashes past the hoards of paparazzi.
Tuts also takes after her mother Bieber with such tweets as "u gotta laugh in life" and "I love reading your tweets and i love u too :) meow" and "can i make you smile?" We don't know, cat, can you?!
This is good news for Bieber fans who enjoy begging a cat to "notice" them on social media, but bad news for Mally the monkey, a distant memory in the back of Justin's mind, a spec in the review mirror of the tour bus he calls life, a monkey abandoned in a German monkey prison. His Twitter account, comprised of dispatches from the edge, would have been a harrowing tale of captivity and domestic turmoil.
Meanwhile, Tuts tweets, "i'm so fat." #firstworldcatproblems