Before you consider adorning your precious skin with permanent layers of seasoned beef and reduced fat sour cream, we suggest taking a moment to relax as if you were Snooki standing in front of governor Christie and enjoy this smattering of the week's most enthralling links.
FROM THE SOUP TV
Just because he's 75 doesn't mean Morgan Freeman can't dream.
Gwyneth Paltrow in the nude (-colored shirt she always wears)!!!
R&B singer Miguel took an extremely creative leap, but it's nothing we haven't see before.
Zach Galifianakis and Kristen Stewart bonded with some leisurely shape shifting.
Nine out of ten doctors recommend Ke$ha carry handi-wipes.
Keep your multiple chins held high. Whambulance Wednesday wasn't so bad.
When Taylor Swift doesn't win an award, the danger of the situation must be assessed.
There were so many lyrics to The Star Spangled Banner we'd never even heard before!
FROM AROUND THE WEB
Kim put a positive spin on an ultimately depressing event.
We enjoyed watching lesbians watch lesbian porn within a box within a box within a box.
Renaissance Portraits of Modern Celebrities: It's like Michelangelo was a big "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" fan.