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    Leftover Soup 5/17/13

    Kim Kardashian Instargram instagram.com

    The time has come for you, like Kim Kardashian, to cut your feet free from their perspex prisons, rest them gently on a plush ottoman, and allow them to morph from murdered Play-Doh back to their naturally intended forms. It's time to free yourself like like Nicki Minaj from American Idol from your daily stresses and check yourself into your personal sanctuary; the Betty Ford clinic of your mind. Indeed, it's your moment to enjoy this weekly link round-up, and allow your worries to disipate like the fat from this dog who had plastic surgery. 

    FROM THE SOUP TV

    Ke$ha looked like someone last week, but we just can't put our greasy extension on it.

    Are the rumors true? Is Beyoncé pregnant?? We hired a translator to find out.

    We celebrated sons who love their mother in especially Oedipal ways.

    Kanye had his very first headache not caused by a nasal inflection.

    We took a historical tour of Aberchubby & Blimp.

    Tan Mom will appear in her first porno, but she's burned brightly on screen before.

    Thanks to Snooki's new sunglass line, kids can finally black out in style.

    We found out which Teen Mom was voted Most Likely To Demand Child Support.

    If you want to feel really great about your talents, come take a look what we reGIFted.

    FROM THE WEB

    Our prayers are with Amy and her family as they recover from this reality sh*tstorm.

    We're preparing ourselves to say goodbye to yet another View-Master.

    Everytime a soft lens is applied,  Ahmed Angel gets photoshopped wings.

     

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