This is an American Airlines flight, not a damn karaoke bar! Or a Southwest flight!
One passenger learned this lesson the hard way, when she was removed from a cross-country domestic flight after she would not stop singing Whitney Houston's 1991 hit "I Will Always Love You" (or Dolly Parton's 1974 original "I Will Always Love You." It's hard to decipher to nuances of her performance as she was being dragged off the plane.)
The six-hour flight from Los Angeles to New York was forced to make an emergency landing in Kansas City in order to eject the Whitney Houston of her generation of coach.
Despite an American Airlines staff member repeatedly claiming, "You cannot take pictures on the airplane," one passenger was able to capture a portion of the incident on camera. (Sidebar: If you can't take pictures on an airplane, then how are there so many Instagrams of plane wings taking off?! Maybe photography on planes should be banned.)
But it appears that trouble may have started even before the plane took off. While boarding, "the Whitney wannabe got into a heated argument with another lady," Max Paul of NBC News, who was a fellow passanger on the flight, revealed to us. "It was so intense that I thought it might get physical but the other woman walked away and that was the end of it."
He continues, "Not long after the flight took off I heard loud singing coming from the back on the plane and it wasn't until about two hours into the flight that the singing became loud and annoying. Some passengers were amused and laughing but others were clearly not happy and tried to drown out the sound with their personal headphones."
"Finally the singing stopped and was replaced by screaming," he explained. "The air marshal came back and failed to calm her down, so the pilot came on and informed us that because of this unruly passenger we were being diverted to Kansas City. It seemed like the singing got louder after that."
All in all, Paul had this to say about the whole ordeal: "Her singing sucked."
"The woman was being disruptive and was removed from the plane for interfering with the flight crew," Kansas City International Airport spokesman Joe McBride explained.
"There was a federal air marshal on the aircraft, who subdued the woman and put her in cuffs and removed her from the plane," he continued, describing a scene from the Bridesmaids sequel or an SNL sketch written one week too late (Kristen Wiig hosted last Saturday).
The woman was later released without any charges. Except possibly that she should take some singing lessons and audition again next year. Whitney Houston is tough to take on, maybe try a song better suited to your range. It was a little pitchy, dawg.
She was not allowed to continue on American Airlines to her final destination, though. It is unclear whether she found another airline to accommodate her special needs (first boarding, children and wheelchairs; second boarding, one woman Whitney Houston cover bands) or if she is still in Kansas, still singing "I Will Always Love You."
The woman reportedly claimed the incident occurred because she is diabetic. Now you know: if you find yourself unable to stop singing, you don't need to WebMD it. You're diabetic.
(Originally published May 13, 2013, at 11:30 a.m. PT)