BRAND NEW ON E!
First and foremost: Charles Ramsey is a hero. Yesterday, Ramsey rescued Amanda Berry and two other women who had been held captive for a decade in Ohio.
He's also hilarious. And loooooooves McDonald's.
Most likely unbeknownst to Ramsey, he utilized a pro tip that all celebrities should master (and yes, he's officially an Internet celebrity at this point): If you mention a product enough, the company just may give it to you for free.
And Ramsey mentioned McDonald's as much as possible:
1 and 2. "I went to McDonald's. Came home. I'm eating my McDonald's...and I hear this girl screaming. I know there's nobody that's supposed to be screaming next door to my house, because there's no girl that lives in that house. That's a dead giveaway that something's wrong."
3. "This is what I heard: They caught him at McDonald's. 'Cause what I did was give them the description of the car he was in. He drives a blue Mazda Miata. Ain't too many of those around."
4. "I heard screaming. I'm eating my McDonald's. I come outside and I see this girl going nuts trying to get out of a house."
And even slips a few into the official 911 call:
(WARNING: The below recording of the 911 call contains explicit language.)
5. "Hey check this out, I just came from McDonald's, right? So I'm on my porch eating my little food, right? This broad is trying to break out the f--king house next door to me!"
6. A mention at 1:40 in the conversation that was slightly garbled in the chaos. But we definitely made out McDonald's. And that's all that matters.
Now, Ramsey's attention to detail may have paid off:
"We salute the courage of Ohio kidnap victims & respect their privacy," the official McDonald's Corp. account tweeted. "Way to go Charles Ramsey- we'll be in touch."
Elsewhere, the Internet has not only celebrated him as the hero that he is, but also for providing amazing interviews in the aftermath of his heroism. Sure, his news clip has been remixed and a few memes have popped up, but it's all unnecessary. Ramsey's one-liners speak for themselves:
Explaining His Discovery to the 911 Operator: "We were like, ‘What's the problem?' And she was like, ‘This muthaf--kah done kidnapped me and my daughter and we been in this bitch!'"
On His Neighbor, the Suspected Kidnapper: "You got some big testicles to pull this off, bro. Because we see this dude every day. I mean, every day."
Also on His Neighbor, the Suspected Kidnapper: "We barbecue with this dude. We eat ribs and whatnot. And listen to salsa music."
And Another on his Neighbor, the Suspected Kidnapper: "How he is, is just comes out to his backyard, plays with the dogs, tinkering with his cars and motorcycles…ain't nothing exciting about him. Well, until today."
What Will Surely Be His Most Memorable Line: "I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. Deeeeeead giveaway."
And, When Asked Whether He Had an Idea What Was Going on in His Neighbor's House, This Gem: "No. 'Cause I'd have pulled this heroic...stuff last year! With my goons!"