Chad Johnson: Football star, avid tweeter, benefactor.
The erstwhile Ochocinco met a homeless man who goes by Porkchop on the streets of Miami on Saturday, and, after he bought the man a beer, they were out "living it up" on a whirlwind weekend that would have made James Joyce proud.
If only Joyce could have tweeted Ulysses...
"Homeless dude asked for a beer, I bought him a case of a 24 n a pack of Newports, we balling together f--k it..." Johnson began, posting a pic of himself and Porkchop (whose real first name is Robert) enjoying said refreshments.
Then: "Gave dude a G-shock watch I had in the car so he can tell time, we're listening to Frankie Beverly n Maze on my iPhone living it up..."
A short while later, Johnson mused whether it was a good idea to take Porkchop out that night, the answer ultimately being yes.
When they met, Porkchop was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, so, "Spent my whole day with Robert 'PorkChop' he doesn't know his last name, at Urban Outfitters, taking him to club Dream for an hour or so," Johnson wrote.
Next came a pic of Porkchop in new pants, a short-sleeved button-down shirt, bright green sneakers and a straw fedora.
"I never go to clubs but tonight is worth it with 'PorkChop' in V.I.P popping whatever the hell he drinks..." Johnson then tweeted in front of the South Beach club Cameo.
"Might as well go job hunting with 'PorkChop' as well s--t, we're both unemployed s--t.. y'all be safe tonight we about to turn up #Goodnight," he continued before musing, "I think I can get him laid tonight."
Well, Johnson's largesse and frequent Twitter updates created an overnight celebrity of Porkchop, with folks in Miami being sure to keep the ex-Dolphins player informed of his new friend's whereabouts the following day.
"How did Porkchop end up with you, he was supposed to meet me for breakfast this morning," wondered the six-time Pro Bowl wide receiver, whose career and personal life took an epic hit in the course of a week last year.
"Day 2 with PorkChop at 'The Clevelander' he's killing everybody with new Jordan's plus he talking to some chick," Johnson tweeted a pic of his pal talking up a lady at a food stand.
Come Sunday, then, "Night with PorkChop is winding down... Fun times for 48 hours straight..."
Johnson was back with his friend on Monday, however, after a concerned citizen tweeted him that Porkchop's belongings had been stolen while he was sleeping.
Asked by one fan what his long-term plans were for his homeless pal, Johnson replied, "I'm using all the resources available to help the best way i can."