Pippa Middleton might want to tone it down a notch.
Why? Well, that's not actually all that clear. Before asking Mr. Johnson to a face-off on the tennis table, the 29-year-old party planner and author recapped her five-day attempt at skiing the "Haute Route," a 111-mile trek from Chamonix, France, to Zermatt, Switzerland. Only on the "mostly uphill trek," poor Pippa "managed to fill [her] gloves with snow," "put on [her] crampons [a traction device added to boots] on wrong" and—bless her heart—was "devastated" when her "strikingly handsome guide Matthieu" shouted at her.
Pippa and her crew slept "in dormitories," where the women bunked beside the "men, who [were] generally unwashed and snoring." Due to "an absence of ventilation," the room "[stunk] of sweat and boys," and Ms. Middleton made sure to point out, "This is not a luxury."
She was "gutted" that "bad weather and avalanche threats" forced her to "abandon the Haute Route only three and a half hours from our final destination." But, here comes to silver lining for this blue-blooded beauty: Now that Pippa's finished her "Alpine challenges," she "can now pursue less demanding hobbies in my spare time, such as ping-pong."
Yep, here we go. Pippa learned that the quirky London mayor "wants to be 'whiff-whaff' world king even more than he wants to be Prime Minister," and she's heard "the Johnsons are almost as competitive as the Middletons."
"So I'd like to lay down a challenge to the Mayor. My only stipulation is that I can use my favourite Dunlop Blackstorm Nemesis bat, which I used when I played in the Milton Keynes U13 National Championships, don't you know," she wrote. "Bring it on, Boris."
OK, Boris, your move now.