Today is Twitter's 7th birthday, but its parents have been too absorbed with the new twins, Instagram and Vine, to notice. So, we're celebrating the 7 years we've all wasted trying to land book deals based on 140 character observational comedy, by presenting a very special installment of "Who Twarted." We're devoting the entire space to the only celebrity who understands how to correctly "do" Twitter: @JoseCanseco. Presented without comment, a selection of his thoughts from the previous month. Happy birthday, Twitter! You'll talk about this in therapy someday.