Move over, Janet Jackson's nipple, because Beyoncé is the latest pop star responsible for the downfall of humanity via a Super Bowl halftime show! What...an honor!
Deadspin obtained viewer complaints submitted to the FCC and, while "thousands of letters" were received, most were in reference to Joe Flacco's F-bomb. But 48 individual complaints targeted that heathen Bey.
Below, the 10 best objections straight form the people (i.e. unedited):
1. "She basically humped the air, simulating sex for 13 minutes. Completely inappropriate as family entertainment."
2. One father, "deeply concerned about wholesome entertainment options for my family," drew issue with "Beyonce's prostitue/dominatrix portrayal" and "hefting cleavage." He concluded that "the halftime show has gone beyond entertainment to wallow in the dregs of carnality."
3. "Opening her legs multiple times right in the cameras so we could see her crotch in tight leather undergarments," another reads, declaring, "This is not right."
4. "There is NO REASON whatsoever for pelvic thrust dancing on national television."
5. "At one point, even laid down on the stage and sprawled out. This is NOT appropriate."
6. "Beyonce s show showed her vaginal area to all at the world My self and children are Christians! Unacceptable"
7. Beyoncé and her "accomplice dancers" outfits "looked like they came out of a sex shop or porn video": "Her breasts protruded out, her butt almost completely showed, the middle of her front torso barely hidden, she wore hooker boots and the entire time she was on stage danced like she was in a strip club!"
8. "that raunchy beyonce girating her vagina in front of the cameras and that is entertainment"
9. "I am pretty sure I saw more sexual gyrations and motions than I see in most rated R movies."
10. "The half time show was just as risqué with Beyonce's Victoria Secrets attire and dance moves which would even scandalize some couples on their wedding night in the privacy of their own bedroom."
In conclusion, these two points:
First of all, as one parent points out, "No wonder the youth of today misbehave."
Yeah, Beyoncé. Ever try thinking of the children?
And second of all, a parenting tip: "If I wanted my kids to love sluts, learn how to be sluts I'd take them to places so they can learn slut culture."
Surprisingly, there were no official complaints about the way Michelle Williams did the "Single Ladies" choreography.
Now that's indecent.