Vanessa Lachey Talks "Baby Blues" After Camden's Birth, Feeling "Haunted" by Estranged Mother

Nick Lachey's wife realized she had to take "a minute to step away" to get back at peace

No matter how prepared you think you are for motherhood, there will inevitably be some surprises.

Vanessa Lachey learned this firsthand after the birth of her son, Camden, in September. In a candid VanessaLachey.com blog post, Nick Lachey's wife opens up about her experience with the "baby blues" and how she bounced back.

"I remember that first night in the hospital, after 14 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, how it was ALL worth it! I couldn't understand how anyone could ever feel anything less than this enormous amount of pure love," the 32-year-old recalls.

But flash forward two weeks, and Vanessa "noticed a swing in my emotions" and was "sick of feeling like a milk machine."

When Vanessa and Nick, 39, had company over and Camden started to cry, she would take him downstairs to breastfeed, often feeling "isolated." Then, when he was doing eating, she "wasn't able to lay and cuddle with him…I had to give him back to the well-wishers who wanted to hold him and love him."

"Instead of cherishing the moments I had with Cam, I was constantly thinking about how I would have to give him up at the end of the feeding," she writes. "I had so many questions and needs and wants, but nothing I could ask of anybody visiting…Except maybe a mom."

"And this is where my blues set in," she reminisces. "I never thought a mother who hasn't been there for me over the last 13 years would come back haunting me when I was at my lowest moment. I think it's just fear…the fear of not knowing what I'm doing. The fear of 'messing up' this little boy."

Then, on Sept. 29, Vanessa's baby blues "got the best" of her. She handed Cam to her hubby and went for a drive around the block, played some music, stopped at Starbucks. When she returned, she apologized to Nick for not being able "to do it ALL like I thought I could," and immediately felt "so much better."

Vanessa credits "taking a minute to step away" for enabling her to "truly appreciate the miracle of life and the blessing we have." She also urges other moms to feel better about the fact that no one—no matter how hard they try—is always going to be a perfect mom.