Dancing With the Stars May Lack Big Stars, but It Could Always Be Worse

Lisa Vanderpump trumps Dina Lohan...but Andy Dick is still a mystery

By John Boone Feb 27, 2013 2:16 AMTags
Dancing with the Stars CastRick Rowell/ABC

Another season's worth of Dancing With the Stars contestants have been revealed! And the Internet responded with a resounding, "Where are the stars?!"

Arguably, this season is kind of reaching when it comes to "stardom." Wynonna Judd and Kellie Pickler are probably the two with the biggest claims to fame.

But keep in mind, it could always be worse...

David Livingston, Jason Kempin/Getty Images

Lisa Vanderpump is better than Dina Lohan!

Hey, at least the housewife-turned-restaurateur has a show (two, actually). Versus Dina—Lindsay Lohan's mother, whose name has long been tossed around when speculating DWTS casting. She's probably picked up a move or two clubbing with LiLo, but, face it, Dina would definitely be worse.

Sara De Boer/StarTraks, Jason Merritt/WireImage

Zendaya Coleman is better than Jason Earles!

Zendaya who? Don't worry, you're not the only one who didn't recognize the Disney channel star by name...or face (she's currently on the show Shake It Up!, FYI). But at least she's more relevant than, say, Earles, the former Hannah Montana star who has done little since then. And we doubt he could convince Miley Cyrus to stop by for a taping. Face it, Jason would definitely be worse.

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Ingo Rademacher is better than David Hasselhoff (again)!

Again: Ingo who? If you don't have anything better to do in the afternoon you'll surely recognize the soap opera actor from General Hospital. And he's certainly a better pick than another German import: Hasselhoff. Yes, we know that The Hoff already competed on a season (11, he was the first one eliminated), which is just part of the reason that, face it, Hasselhoff would definitely be worse.

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Dorothy Hamill is better than Tonya Harding!

We wouldn't fault you if you haven't thought of Hamill too frequently since she became the 1976 Olympics figure skating champion. And while she's definitely beloved (points for her), she's not exactly the most relevant anymore (not that that matters to DWTS). Plus, she's a better pick than Tonya Harding. Well, actually...on second thought, knowing how Harding handles stiff competition, we might pick her, just for the, uh, drama of it all.

Dancing With the Stars people, have we reached out to Tonya Harding?

Jeffrey Mayer, Michael Bezijan/WireImage

Andy Dick is better than...

Well, maybe this is the worst it gets.