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Gil and Phil at the Heart Attack Grill

by Jessie Gaskell and Lizzy Cooperman Wed., Feb. 13, 2013 1:49 PM PST

Gil: I also heard the owner of Subway just died. He fell off the platform!

Phil: Sad news about the owner of Target. Hit in the heart with a dart.

Gil: Did you hear about the owner of Old Navy? His boat rotted and sank.

Phil: Better than the owner of Chili's…she died of heat stroke.

Gil: The owner of Crate & Barrel died choking on packing peanuts.

Phil: The owner of Costco drowned in ten gallons of pudding…for only 19.99!

Gil: The owner of Panda Express was killed by a panda - on speed.

Phil: The owner of Kinko's died of his own carbon footprint!

Gil: The owner of IKEA collapsed under his Kleipforp!

Phil: The owner of Anthropologie died of a useless major!

Gil: The owner of Victoria's Secret died....turns out, her secret was cancer.

Phil: The owner of Olive Garden choked on a breadstick. He met the breadstick at the gym.

Gil: The owner of Bed Bath and Beyond - well, we know where he ended up. Dead in the bathtub.

Phil: The owner of Walgreens just died. Ironically, he was allergic to penicillin!

Gil: The owner of Blockbuster died…he starved to death! Because they're bankrupt.

Phil: The owner of Burlington Coat Factory died of hypothermia. Twist ending!

Gil: The owner of Forever 21 died. It was just of old age.

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