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Attention, Katy Perry! Or, on second thought, cover your ears, Katy Perry!
Sure, no one wants relationship advice on their current paramour from their ex-husband, but when it comes to the romantic reputation of John Mayer, Russell Brand knows of what he speaks.
In fact, Brand may be the only celebrity to rival Mayer in terms of the sheer amount of famous female companionship he's been keeping.
So when Howard Stern asked the comedian his thoughts on his ex-wife's new boyfriend, of course he was going to have something to say.
"What do you make of your ex-wife dating John Mayer?" Stern asked his guest on Monday's Sirius XM radio show. "Doesn't she know that he's a worse womanizer than you?"
"Worse or better, depending on how you view it," Russell quickly intervened. When Stern then said, "He's a better womanizer, then," Brand was forced to defend his well-documented lascivious ways.
"Hold on, I resent that! I'm world class!"
Returning to the topic of Katy and John, Russell opted for diplomacy, while still making his feelings known.
"You have to let go of the instinct to protect someone once you divorce them," he said.
Taking that as his cue (not that he needed one) to throw tact to the wind, Stern then launched into Russell's ill-fated marriage, telling him, "I knew you'd never stay married."
So Katy has John—who does Russell have?
"I'm not dating anybody. Actually, I'd like a romance. Not so much playing the field, just going through life, meditating, doing yoga, concentrating on this TV show and trying to find a nice wife."
As for rumors he's been linked to Demi Moore, Brand clarified that those were patently untrue.
"I really like her, she's a beautiful person. I've not made love to her yet, Howard, but it's a matter of time. That's the sort of thing that'll get in the newspaper."
As the conversation went on, the chat got a bit more compromised, with Stern pushing Brand to reveal intimate details about Perry.
"So help me, Howard Stern, I will not compromise my ex-wife's vagina for the sake of ratings! That woman was perfect from top to bottom!
Huh. Maybe he's not so much like John Mayer after all.