I only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, so which ones will be worth my time?
—Leysha, Atlanta, via Twitter
We already know that the girls stars will be out—thanks to jiggletastic Kate Upton and Bar Rafaeli, plus lordy knows how many more supermodels getting their jiggle on. We also know that scads of actors will be trying to sell us stuff, including Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler and Kaley Cuoco. But also in the mix is one surprisingly classy dude...playing the devil.
9. Bar Rafaeli for GoDaddy: The Israeli supermodel makes out with a dweeb—with what appears to be tongues and everything—to sell you some web domains. Prepare to be aroused. Or nauseated.
8. Jimmy Fallon for Lincoln: Now, this may not sound as sexy as Rafaeli, but Ford Motor has a history of totally blowing off the Super Bowl. And the fact that it's going to the game this year—with the help of Jimmy Fallon, who solicited ideas via Twitter—makes this commercial one to watch for.
7. Funny Lady for Big Boxes: Amy Poehler's playing an exaggerated (we hope) version of herself in a commercial for Best Buy.
6. Funny Lady for Little Cars: Kaley Cuoco is making wishes come true for Toyota. The commercial isn't funny per se, but it really fun to watch. So watch it again Sunday.
5. Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd for Samsung: We don't know what, but we know when and who. The tease for their Samsung spot also had Mr. Show vet Bob Odenkirk, so this commercial had better be funny or else.
4. Psy Goes Nuts: The master of "Gangnam Style" is returning for a spot for Wonderful Pistachios. He will be in green. And, really, do you need to know anything else? Horse dancing and pistachios for everybody.
3. The Devil for Mercedes: Willem Dafoe—yeah, the guy who played Green Goblin in Spider-Man--will play the devil. Old Scratch tries to tempt a guy into giving up his soul in exchange for a lifetime of Mercedes moments, such as hanging out with Kate Upton. We've already seen the Upton-Mercedes connection a billion times but the Dafoe angle has been less played out. Intriguing.
2. White Jamaicans for Volkswagen: By now we all know that Volkswagen has a commercial featuring white and Asian people speaking with a Jamaican accent, a jape that is probably not racist unless it is. The mystery: Will the ad remain as is when it debuts live Sunday? In the past, edits have been known to happen in the days leading up to the Bowl.
1. Astronauts for Axe: For those of us who just want to see a great commercial already--no celebs, no supermodels, just a great story--I recommend this year's Axe commercial. It's the company's debut Super Bowl spot, and it's all kinds of cute.