The CIA had a great night at the 70th Annual Golden Globes.
The Hollywood Foreign Press could only make up for so many of the Academy's slights, but it started by naming Argo Best Motion Picture, Drama, and Ben Affleck Best Director for helming the crowd-pleasing nailbiter based on a real-life CIA hostage rescue that went down in the 1970s in Iran.
"I don't care what the award is, when they put your name next to the names she just read off," Ben Affleck said, referring to presenter Halle Berry ticking off names like Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino. "I truly to God never thought I would be in the same breath as them." (Last Thursday, Affleck was among the notable names left off the directing slate when the Oscar nominations were announced.)
Chameleon Daniel Day-Lewis won as expected for playing the 16th president of the United States, accounting for Lincoln's sole win in seven tries.
"Are you sure there's room for another ex-president on this stage?" the British actor jested, referring to Bill Clinton's appearance earlier in the evening to present Lincoln as a nominee. "If you thought that was showing off, Her Majesty the Queen of England is about to parachute in in a couple of minutes to make a last-minute pitch for Skyfall."
And, as CIA agent Maya saw her hard work come to fruition in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden, Jessica Chastain's dedication to her craft paid off with a win for Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama, for Zero Dark Thirty.
On the small-screen side, Showtime's Homeland remained the TV drama du jour, and HBO's love-it-or-hate-it Girls pulled off the top comedy win, the makeshift family of hip, awkward Brooklynites created by surprise Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy, winner Lena Dunhamtoppling the Modern Family that has won three straight Emmys and was the defending Golden Globe champ.
"It took a village to raise this very demented child," Dunham said in thanking her cast and crew. And, in a particularly swank move, "I also promised myself that if I ever got this chance I would thank Chad Lowe." (There's that quirky hipster intellect in action, folks.)
Though the tune-loving HFPA picked Girls over Smash, they didn't miss the chance to reward a true-blue musical—in this case Les Misérables—with the Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy.
Too bad for Hugh Jackman he has to compete against Day-Lewis for the Oscar, but, tonight, he was a winner for Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy, for singing the stuffing out of the role of convict-made-good Jean Valjean.
Jennifer Lawrence was named Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy, for the more-dramatic-than-funny Silver Linings Playbook, upping the possibility of her having a golden Oscar night—and a feud with Lindsay Lohan.
"What does it say? I beat Meryl!," she singsonged after accepting her Globe from the show-stopping (well, until Sacha Baron Cohen came out to present) Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig. "Jokes aside, I am so honored to be a part of a film like this. Bradley [Cooper], you're incredible, you made me better every single day. Harvey [Weinstein], thank you for klling whoever you had to kill to get me up here today."
Also feeling her Oscar stock rise was Anne Hathaway, a winner for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture for Les Mis and, if she's to be believed, someone who keeps forgetting that she's made a lot of movies since The Princess Diaries.
"Thank you for this lovely blunt object that I will forever more use as a weapon against self-doubt," Hathaway said in wide-eyed appreciation. "And thank you for putting my work in this category with great and gutsy actresses—Amy [Adams], Nicole [Kidman], Helen [Hunt] and Sally [Field]. Sally, I have to thank you so much for being a vanguard against typecasting. As the girl who started out as the Princess of Genovia, I can't tell you how encouraging it was to know that the Flying Nun turned out to be Norma Rae."
Django Unchained, controversial but funnier than Silver Linings Playbook, was a two-time winner tonight with triumphs for Best Supporting Actor Christoph Waltz and the guy who put the words in his mouth, Quentin Tarantino.
The Best Screenplay winner thanked the "group of friends who I read scenes to as I go on. Thery'e the ones, as I'm writing, I'll read a scene here, a scene there. You guys don't know how important you are to my process. I don't want input, I don't want you telling me I'm doing anything wrong, heavens forbid! But when I read it to you, I hear it through your ears and it lets me know if I'm on the right track...I really appreciate this. This is a damn surprise and I'm happy to be surprised."
Robert Downey Jr. presented the Cecil B. DeMille Award to Jodie Foster, who directed RDJ in Home for the Holidays, and—just when we thought Downey and Mel Gibson presenting their pal with a stuffed hamster would be the hoot—proceeded to use the platform as a boisterous self-affirmation/lovefest/treatise on privacy/tribute to mom/possible farewell to the biz.
"Forty-seven years in the film business is a long time," the 50-year-old actress and filmmaker said. "Thank you for honoring me tonight. It is the most fun party of the year and, tonight, I feel like the prom queen...So, while I'm here being all confessional, I guess I have a sudden urge to say something that I've never really been able to air in public...You know, I'm just going to put it out there, loud and proud...I am single."
But, seriously, friends.
"I already did my coming-out about a thousand years ago, back in the Stone Age" Foster continued. "Those very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to trusted friends and family and coworkers, and then gradually, proudly to everyone who knew her, to everyone she actually met."
The HFPA also made sure that Adele's first red-carpet appearance since becoming a mum was worth her while—the British chanteuse won Best Song for the Skyfall theme, and then made it worth our while with one of her signature speeches.
"Oh my God!" she kvelled (four or five times). "Honestly, I came out for a night out with my friend...literally come for a night out...thank you so much! Thank you so much for letting me a part of your world tonight, it's amazing, we've been pissin' ourselves laughing," she added. "This is for my boyfriend, Simon, who convinced me to do [the song] and my lovely son." (Drat, we were hoping she'd drop the little one's name!)
As for the music without lyrics, composer Mychael Danna won for Best Original Score for Life of Pi.
As was totally expected, Michael Haneke's Amour, from Austria, was named Best Foreign-Language Film, and Disney-Pixar's Brave won Best Animated Feature Film.
"I never thought to get an award in Hollywood by an Austrian," the thickly accented Haneke joked in reference to presenter Arnold Schwarzenegger, who traded zings about being hard to understand with Sylvester Stallone.
HBO—aka "Heroic Brave Operation," as Game Change director Jay Roach said while accepting for Best TV Movie or Miniseries—was tops among networks with five wins, while Showtime was on its heels with four.
Game Change built on its Emmys success with Best Actress in a TV Movie or Miniseries win for Julianne Mooreand Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Minseries or Movie for Ed Harris.
Perennial no-show Maggie Smith was named Best Supporting Actress for Downton Abbey, the PBS costume drama's sole win of the night, and Kevin Costner repeated his Emmy success with a Best Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries win for Hatfields & McCoys.