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Elle Fanning, Critics Choice Movie Awards

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

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So many analogies, so little time. Which linen-related comparison do we use for Elle Fanning's Chanel dress at the Critic's Choice Awards?

Dust ruffle? Tea cozy? Bedspread? Tablecloth? Room divider at the Feng Sheng Princess Chinese Restaurant and Gift Shop? Hey, we're not snobs. You take your pick.

Maybe her accompanying Chanel clogs will inspire a bit of fashion mercy in our coal-like hearts?

No, no, no. Nope. We just took a look. No mercy to be had. At all. Sorry.

Now it's your turn.