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David Beckham, Victoria Beckham, Morrissey

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images, Dove Shore/Getty Images

Morrissey has given Kate Middleton the greatest birthday gift of all: a day off from his near constant litany of venom and scorn.

Which may be good news for the expectant royal (or, as the cantankerous wordsmith refers to her, a "staggeringly arrogant zombie," but it's bad news for David and Victoria Beckham.

Hey, the man can only hold it in so long before his foul-tempered rants demand an outlet.

This latest unsolicited tongue-lashing comes courtesy of Loaded magazine via prolific excerpts in the British media, where the former Smiths' frontman started off his insultathon with some classic juvenile name mangling, which he admirably (or not) kept up through the whole of his interview.

"I'd have the Peckhams dragged to the edge of the village and flogged because they are insufferable to anyone of intelligence, and they actively chase the paparazzi," he said. Safe to say he's spared their blushes.

"We don't seem to realize that David and Victoria Peckham will soon be back and God forbid they will be bestowed with the titles Sir and Lady Peckham, this is what's wrong with this country, we don't seem to care."

Well, thank goodness there's someone as caring as Morrissey to help fill the gap.