Happy 2013, scare fanatics! Have you missed your weekly dose of American Horror Story: Asylum? We did, too.
After last episode's numerous cliffhangers, we had a lot of loose ends that needed tied up. And Asylum did just that in the only way it knows how: morbidly and disturbingly. Plus, there was a musical number. No, seriously. It's the Glee-Asylum mash-up we never asked for and aren't exactly sure how we feel about. But first, the Angel of Death came back to Briarcliff to claim two more lives. Well, make that three:
The Devil (and the Nun) Bite the Dust: Sister Mary (Lily Rabe) is continuing her tour of evil by deflowering Monsignor Timothy (Joseph Fiennes) against his will, breaking Dr. Arden's (James Cromwell) heart and electroshocking the crap out of Sister Jude (Jessica Lange). When Timothy goes to Jude begging for a way to stop the devil, she simply tells him to kill her. Sounds simple enough.
It really was, though. The real Sister Mary came out for a moment and said she was tired of fighting within her own body, so Timothy chucked her over the third floor railing. The Angel of Death comes to claim both Sister Mary and the demon inside of her. But the deaths don't stop there.
Dr. Arden, who had a creepy love-obsession thing going on with Sister Mary, demanded she be cremated instead of simply buried. Just before he puts her into the flames, Arden climbs on top of Mary's dead body and rides into the cremator with her, killing himself.
Sister Jude's Musical Debut: Jude and the rest of the resident of Briarcliff singing and dancing to "The Name Game" was a hallucination meant to showcase how fried her brain was after electroshock therapy. It certainly fried our brain. And if that little musical break didn't convince us that Sister Jude's brain was dunzo, her insane ramblings to Mother Superior did the trick. Of course, half of the things she was mumbling about were true, while others were just wacko. She did end her crazed monologue with one clear request to Mother Superior: Get Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson) out of Briarcliff.
Dr. Thredson Returns: How badass was Thredson's (Zachary Quinto) entrance back into the asylum? But our admiration was short-lived, because he is back and he is ready to destroy Kit (Evan Peters) and Lana. He tells Lana she is safe while she's carrying his child (plus a year for breastfeeding), but he needs to take care of the confession Kit taped.
Of course, Kit isn't going to tell him. So when Thredson stumbles upon Grace (Lizzie Brocheré) giving birth, he stages a reunion between Kit, Grace and presumably Kit's child. Once Kit sees he has a family to protect, he gives up the location of the tape, and Thredson rushes down to hydrotherapy to find it. He doesn't locate it, but what he does come up with is Lana, who was sent down to the hydrotherapy room earlier in the day. She is now the only one who knows where the tape is, and she tells Thredson that she will find a way to get it to the police if Kit is harmed. Lana also delivered our favorite line of the episode: "I'm goddamn plucky, remember?" Go Lana!
• Could the demon have gone somewhere else? Or is it truly gone?
• What will become of Kit and Grace now that Dr. Thredson is involved?
• Will Sister Jude ever get her mind right again?
• Did that musical number make you feel a little woozy, too?