Jessica Simpson's Best Pregnancy Quotes—So Far!

Fashion Star mentor is reportedly expecting second child, which means TMI hilarity for the rest of us

By Rebecca Macatee Nov 28, 2012 11:30 PMTags
Jessica SimpsonAlberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Jessica Simpson and her family are surely happy about her reported pregnancy.

But the rest of us are in for a treat, too. Maxwell Drew Johnson's mom delivered some of her best trademark "TMI, Jess" quotes during her first pregnancy.

Get ready, y'all.

"The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!" —Twitter, in response to OMGFacts' tweet "The average person expels flatulence 15 times each day!" 

"Kraft mac and cheese w lawry's seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!!!" —Twitter

"I just started calling myself Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region." —The Tonight Show With Jay Leno 

"There is only one, believe it or not. I did get knocked up by a baller. A big football player." —The Ellen DeGeneres Show

"I am definitely feeling 'intimate.' I'm kind of unstoppable at the moment! Like the big 'O' is like the biggest 'O' ever." —Ryan Seacrest's KIIS FM radio show

"Stayed up past my bedtime. Now it's time for my big girl panties and sleeping bra!!" —Twitter

Twitter

"Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins?! Yikes!" —Twitter

"I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!" —Jimmy Kimmel Live