Breaking News: Deena did not leave the Jersey Shore house. Oh, you saw that coming? Yeah, us too.
After a nice visit from her parents and staying in for the night, things seemed well again with the meatball (for now, anyway). But Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino still seemed to be struggling with the whole boyfriend thing.
He was dancing and flirting with multiple girls at Karma, but he didn't take anyone home (unlike Pauly D and Vinny), so at least that's going for him. And when the ladies of the house tried to explain why his actions were not OK, he almost dropped the L-word when talking about her. Almost.
Sammi tried to have a heart-to-heart with Deena about the way she's been dealing with things lately (mainly, her drinking and complaining), and attributed it to only-child syndrome. Dee called BS, and the duo just let it be and went to bed.
The next night, Mike and Deena had a double date with their significant others, which only proved that Sitch is still iffy on the whole relationship status. He always seemed embarrassed with everything Paula had to say, and even said to her (in front of everyone back at the house) that he likes it better when she just sits there and smiles. Isn't he a peach?!
The group—minus Ronnie, Sam and Snooki—went out to Aztec, and once again, Mike proved that he won't be getting honored as boyfriend of the year.
Instead of being with Paula, he tried to live vicariously through Pauly and Vinny by hanging out at the MVP wall. But no one cared about what he was doing. All eyes went to the old lady that put Deena's Jersey turnpike to shame when she busted out some headstands on the dance floor.
Fun fact: Paula (proudly) wears butt pads, but she has no shame with anything she does or says, so is that really shocking?
Mike continued to "chalk it up" with all of his girl's antics, but things seemed to be going downhill fast, and it looks like this relationship is heading to splitsville faster than you can say GTL.
Yeah, that's pretty fast.