Donald Trump called for revolution. Victoria Jackson wept. Fox News' Karl Rove begged to differ with, well, Fox News.
Here's a rundown of Election Day's five biggest meltdowns, in ascending order, from rumblings of discontent to a volcanic eruption so great not even the former star of Ugly Betty was left untouched.
1. Karl Rove Takes on Science: When Fox News called Ohio and, in turn, the White House for President Barack Obama, the architect of George W. Bush's campaigns questioned his own network's vote-trackers. Compared to the night's other meltdowns, Rove's thermostat actually held steady. But he turned up the heat by creating great, unscripted TV that even anchor Megyn Kelly called "awkward."
2. Ted Nugent Goes Off: You know how Gov. Mitt Romney supporters Stacey Dash and Meat Loaf were gracious in defeat, in prose and on Twitter, respectively? The red-meat rocker was nothing like that, as his tweets about Obama's reputed constituency of "pimps," "whores," and "welfare brats" attest. Oh, and also "subhuman varmint[s]," we almost forgot those.
3. Sore Winners Stay Classy With Melissa Joan Hart: On Monday, the Melissa & Joey star endorsed Romney via Twitter. On Tuesday night, after the Republican's defeat, trolls filled up Hart's feed with the sort of things you'd expect of trolls, namely insults, more insults and some pretty unkind words, too. In short, a reverse meltdown, with the role of Ted Nugent being played by the ostensive winners. Hart got feisty with one delightful sort who bashed the former Sabrina the Teenage Witch star as a "fat, unbankable, untalented, uneducated, neo-con, bad mom, child star from the 80s." "Wrong!" she tweeted. "it was 90s a--hole!"
4. Donald Trump's Revolutionary-War Cry: No high-profile meltdown was higher profile than the one by the billionaire birther. That's what happens when you take to Twitter to incite angry street mobs, and totally pick on NBC News anchor Brian Williams.
5. Victoria Jackson vs. America: And the meltdown win goes to the Saturday Night Live comic turned something else, who in a series of tearful tweets Tuesday dissed her fellow Christians ("you disgust me"), blasted Obama's Democrats ("Evil won.") and pronounced America dead—twice. The latter charge was subsequently disproved by America Ferrera who tweeted, "I don't know what's going on. Im still here."