It's that time of year again: Dust off your fancy red leather jacket (we know you own one, don't lie), go heavy on the werewolf makeup and zombie strut to the nearest dance floor.
And if you're feeling shy because you haven't quite mastered Michael Jackson's "Thriller" shuffle, don't fret, we've got a beginner's course all prepped for you.
First, make sure the mood is right. We suggest around 10:30-11 p.m., after the spiked cider has been served but before that dude dressed as Captain Morgan starts force-feeding people shots.
All right, let's do this!
Now, ease your way into it. We're not in a rush here. If you're recreating the whole 13 minute music video then you've got plenty of time to shine.
Make your way to center stage because things are about to get sprung.
By now, you'll surely have been joined by a legion of your friends and fellow "Thriller" lovers. If you're solo at this point, you might want to abort. Unless you can handle the limelight solo. Who are we kidding? Of course you can! But the more, the merrier.
Hit 'em with the classic moves. You know the moves. There's arm-claw-monster-walk.
And the shuffle and clap. You can totally do the shuffle and clap!
Now get those hands in the air. And hey, wave 'em around like you just don't care! Why not! It's Halloween!
You're getting the hang of it!
Now bring it around town.
Look at you go! You're really doing it!
Zombie hands! Zombie hands!
Now it's time to get fancy.
Turn up the heat and get to thrustin'. Did it just get hot in here? No! It's totally you!
Hit 'em with a signature move. Talk about a showstopper!
And you know what, throw some swag on that "Thriller." This ain't yo grandma's monster mash!
And if none of that worked, then run for your life, girl. Or at least get the heck out the club.