Five Ingredients to a Proper American Horror Story Premiere: A GIF-torial

Jessica Lange, Adam Levine and an alien invasion make for a truly WTF-worthy premiere

The ratings are in and everybody—or a large portion, we assume, of the 3.85 million viewers who tuned in—loved it. So how did American Horror Story: Asylum top its first season, which, as you'll remember, was filled with ghosts, murder, mayhem and the incomparable, Emmy-winning Jessica Lange?

Well, bring back Lange, for one. But here are five other standard (though possibly NSFW) ingredients to creating a proper episode of FX's biggest hit:

1. Religion garners buzz, so nuns are a must. But what about sexy nuns? Bingo!

2. Some casual alien probing (in the you know where) is pretty par-for-the-course.

3. Something gross to make sure you weren't eating while watching. You weren't, right?

4. Cast Adam Levine! But don't make him get naked. Just kill him after he does this:

5. And did we mention Jessica Lange? Let her chew as much scenery as possible.

Mix it all together and you have a standard episode of AHS. Now, if you want to get weird...