Calling her a "genius" at the game of reality TV, the Anderson Live host called Bristol out today for her self-inflicted drama on last night's Dancing With the Stars, when she accused partner Mark Ballas of being "bummed" that he was paired with her this season.
"I'm thinking of starting a job fair for people—I think there's a whole bunch of people who just need to get jobs," Cooper laid into the subject. "Lindsay Lohan, Bristol Palin...I think they need to just get some jobs!"
With Lindsay probably wondering, "Hey, what did I do?!" Cooper returned from commercial break and launched right back into his rant.
"Bristol Palin had a meltdown," the admitted Honey Boo Boo and Real Housewives fan said. "First of all, I'm fascinated by how reality TV works...Anybody who's on a reality show now knows that, to get attention, you need to take it to another level. You need to have a wardrobe malfunction, you need to pass out, you need to throw up, you need to have a fight, you need to have a breakdown...You need a story line."
"Bristol Palin," Cooper continued, "is a genius. Last night, she developed a story line that made her very sympathetic. She had this meltdown, saying that her dancing partner really doesn't want to be her dancing partner."
Cooper and guest cohost Deborah Norville went on to critique Bristol's meltdown performance, from her hand gestures—"Totally not working for me," Norville said—to her facial expressions, gum chewing and rampant texting-white-arguing.
"Nobody anymore, you can't tell that anybody's having a meltdown, because her face is completely frozen!" Cooper exclaimed!
"And she's what, 17?!" Norville added. For the record, Bristol's 22 and, as far as we know, not trying to get a Wrigley's endorsement.
Sarah Palin, who earlier had taken to her Facebook page to comment on the powdery package sent to Dancing WIth the Stars last week as an apparent threat against Bristol's continuing participation, fired off another missive.
In a note to People, stating that her family is writing a book on "fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!"