Can you believe it's almost all over?! At least we have one more season of the Jersey Shore for our guilty pleasures memory bank.
Tonight's two-hour episode began just like every other premiere, following each of the castmembers on their way to the shore house, but it was quickly evident that things would be different this summer.
Snooki was six months pregnant and engaged, Mike was newly sober and getting serious with Paula, and Deena was "finally happy" with her boyfriend, Chris.
At the same time, some things stayed exactly the same. Pauly and Vinny's bromance was still in full swing, Ronnie and Sammi were still in love with each other (for now) and Mike, in an effort to apologize for his troublesome behavior in the past, cooked dinner. But Snooks and Jenni weren't about to forgive that easily.
Regardless, Sitch's feast and individual apologies gave the first night back at the Jersey shore a good start. Let's just hope it lasts.
The next day, everyone was up at a reasonable hour and set off to participate in some G-T-L action. Things seemed to be going great, until the ladies went to lunch and Deena burst into tears. What?! She just misses her man, it happens.
Once the sun went down, a familiar voice yelled "cabs are here" and it was back to the routine. Everyone got done up to go to Karma, except for Snooki, who instead went on a date with fiancé Jionni to avoid the temptation to drink. Speaking of, was Mike able to say no to the alcohol?
Yep! All he was chugging were water bottles and Red Bulls. Kudos, Mike. Meanwhile, everyone else was getting plastered and having the time of their lives. And then it happened—Sam and Ron started arguing. Welcome to Jersey Shore, friends. Ron was mad that Sam didn't eat anything before they went out, and then it turned into an argument about who knows what.
Then, out of nowhere, Deena started crying again. What's going on with this one? Apparently, Dee thought Vinny was making fun of her man while talking to him about furniture (Chris sells furniture). All Vin wanted was to talk about getting some pieces for his new house, but Deena thought he was disrespecting her man. Sigh.
Back at the house, Mike taught us of Rule No. 667 in the Swag Handbook, which states, "You cannot have sex with a girl that's on her period, unless it's your girlfriend. And unless it's your girlfriend for a minute." And that was the case with Pauly's hookup for the night. Mother Nature was such a C-block.
Meanwhile, Vinny kept joking around with Nicole and brought up the fact that they hooked up and how he and Jionni are Eskimo brothers (when two guys have sex with the same girl). Snooki wasn't into it. "I honestly just wanted to get a knife last night and cut Vinny's throat," she told the girls.
However, Vinny is making a new bond with someone else—Mike. These two got into deep conversation regarding Mike's sobriety and Vin's anxiety. Too cute.
Side note: Deena would like everyone to know what integrity means. "Integrity means like shame. Like, ‘I got a lot of shame, I got a lot of integrity.'" Luckily, the bartender corrected her.
During Sunday-night dinner, Snooki drops the bombshell that she's considering getting her own place for the summer because she's concerned about her pregnancy. She had already talked to Shore Store manager Danny about possibly moving in next door to a tiny apartment.
No one was happy about losing Snooki in the house, but they all understood it was for Lorenzo.