Fiona Apple sure isn't being shy about her recent arrest.
The 35-year-old singer, who was arrested on Wednesday in Sierra Blanca, Texas, for possessing marijuana and hashish, made her first public appearance post-jail at a Houston concert and revealed to the audience everything from an apology to her jailer to angrily suggesting other folks in the slammer had been "inappropriate."
The "Criminal" singer started off her confession with "I'm just gonna get this over with right away...First thing is the guy who runs the jail…he's a good guy, I want to apologize to him. I'm not going to say his name because he isn't interested in fame…and I only met him yesterday morning and I'm apologizing to him for being attitude-y."
The songstress went on to admit: "Most people were very nice to me [but] there are four of you out there and I want you to know that I heard everything you did. I wrote it all down with your names and everything you did and said stupidly thinking I couldn't hear or see you."
As for what exactly these four people said? Fiona didn't reveal specifics but went on to say she "then ripped the paper up but not before I encoded it and put it in two lock boxes. We'll call them holding cell one and holding cell two. In holding cell one, is the encoded version of the s--t that you did that I know is inappropriate and probably illegal. In holding cell two, is the decoder.
"I'm the only one who holds the key and you and I will be intimate forever because I will hold that secret forever unless of course the celebrity you had so much interest in but you wanted to accuse me of bringing up while you laughed at me all night. Unless you're interested in being a celebrity...I'll make you f—ing famous anytime you ask and I'll open those boxes—until then, stay in your f—king holding cell."
Well, alrighty then.