There's just one week until the biggest pageant of Alana Thompson's young life and her family wasn't messing around when it came to preparing for it in "Ah-chooo!"
While reports have suggested that the penny-pinching family is looking for big pay increases for a second season, sources tell E! News that those rumors are completely untrue. And on the latest episode of TLC's breakout hit Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, June and the gang did everything they could to have some extra money for the pageant, which included some intense family bingo, and a meet-and-greet with Miss Georgia 2011, Machaela Lackey!
Still, the family found some time to celebrate Alana's seventh birthday.
Makeup Novice: In addition to her rabid couponing, June decides to learn to do hair and makeup to save some money for the big pageant. Are we sure June's middle name isn't frugal? The salon's makeup artist does half of Alana's face and wants June to try and replicate what she's doing on the other side. It doesn't go so well. Why? Because June has really, really bad eyesight. Like, so bad that she can't even see Alana's eyebrows.
B-I-N-G-O: The whole gang heads to the VFW hall to play some bingo. The winner gets $1,000 dollars, which June says they need for—you guessed it—the pageant! June is very into her bingo and says it's her favorite sport, along with couponing, but she has to concentrate harder during bingo because her eyesight is so bad, saying, "I have to squint a lot." Cue super flattering shots of June squinting. "Bingo is mama's sport," Pumpkin says, before almost getting hit a train (close, but no cigar! Better luck next ep, train!) While Alana comes close to winning bingo, someone else calls "Bingo!" first.
Special Guest: Thanks to some special connections, June arranges a shopping date for Alana with Miss Georgia. While the beauty queen is excited to give Alana some tips, the youngster is too distracted, saying, "I like sparkly things." Oh, and she's too busy staring at herself in the mirror. (Cue hilarious montage of Alana's friendship with mirrors.) They then go out for lunch, where Miss Georgia tells Alana her eating habits are "not cute." Also not cute? Saying you farted at the table. As a parting gift, She gives Alana an official headshot (seriously, that's her idea of a gift).
Party Like It's Your Birthday: For the little lady's seventh birthday celebration, the family decides to throw a barbeque, complete with a big water slide and snow cones! Ever so lovely, Alana's three older sisters raid June's couponing spoils to find a gift, settling on hot sauce and soap. (June's gift? Her sneeze-during-an-interview gene, which Alana shows off hilariously at the end of the episode.) The real highlight of the party though is June attempting to climb the water slide. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. "I think it was the forklift foot and gravity," Chickadee guesses.
"I'm gonna look like I just got off the street walkin'.'" —Alana, on June's makeup skills
"You spell Bingo…B-I-N-G-(longest pause ever)O." —Alana, after losing the game
"I'm relaxin'…eatin'…havin' a great time." —Alana, looking at herself in the mirror while eating (So multi-talented!)
"It's weird to say the word fart on camera. It's something I never thought I'd say." —Miss Georgia, showing off her grace and poise in the face of rednecks
"She's very pretty and I don't think she farts." —Alana, on Miss Georgia