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Well, we give up.
A day after Lady Gaga invited folks like Paris Hilton and Marc Jacobs to watch her nap in a tinted plastic pod that definitely was a none-too-distant cousin of the egg contraption she hatched from at the Grammys last year, the pop star showed up for her Fame fragrance launch at Macy's in a relatively unusual horse-drawn carriage.
But then she got out of the carriage.
Mother Monster outdid herself for her appearance in New York City Friday.
Her Alien-meets-monster look included a gold crown covering the upper half of her face and a black latex "jacket" (a word that doesn't even begin to do it justice) molded into a swooping hunchback shape that was pure sci-fi from the back.
In a nod to the Fame ad campaign, her towering black boots were crawling with little gold men meant to look like they were struggling to ascend Mt. Gaga.
While she may have tweaked her M.O. since claiming her perfume would include notes of blood and semen, Gaga certainly didn't go the ordinary vanilla-and-bergamot route or anything in crafting her first signature fragrance.
"I wanted it to be a very slutty perfume," said on Good Morning America today. "Because that is sort of the addictive nature of fame that it is, it is seductive."
The "first ever black eau de parfume" also, thankfully, just features "tears of belladonna, crushed heart of tiger orchidea with a black veil of incense, pulverized apricot and the combinative essences of saffron and honey drops," according to the description on the purple and black bottle.