Meaning, Kimmel didn't even pretend that he wanted to ask Pattinson personal questions about Kristen Stewart.
Instead, there was a lot of discussion about cheap cars, getting caught in the middle of a "dogging" lot (we'll explain) and doing the dirty in Cosmopolis.
A very charismatic Pattinson revealed that he is an avid Craigslist user and buys practically everything from the online buy-sell-and-advertise site.
"I buy everything off Craigslist...my friends, that's what I was initially looking on it for," he joked, and told the story of his latest venture to Chino Hills, Calif., to buy a car (he even tried to haggle the $2,500 price tag).
But, when he isn't driving around in one of his three cars, he chooses to ride a bike. However, his earth-friendly mode of transportation got him stuck in the middle of an awkward situation when he was passing by a "dogging" area. Which, apparently, is a place where men engage in sexual acts.
"I used to turn up at this parking lot lookin' at everyone like, 'Why are all these guys sittin' around in their cars all the time?' And I'm goin' there everyday kinda thinkin' nothing of it, coming out in my little Lycra pants, and one day there was a big raid," he said.
When it came time to talk about his latest flick, which opens in wider release on Friday, Kimmel made sure to bring up Pattinson's character's "prostate exam," which, the host noted, made R.Pattz look "upset."
"Someone was telling me about this vein that comes out of my forehead that only ever happens when very good things happen or very, very bad things," the Brit said, recalling the très David Cronenberg sex scene that goes down in his character's limo. "And I have no idea which one it's classified as, being f--ked."
Oh, he's so cheeky.