What would you do if Christian Grey sidled right up to you and said, "Laters, baby"?
Well, a British tourism company is hoping you quiver and scream and stuff your hard-earned pounds in its coffers.
The Falstaff Experience in Stratford-upon-Avon (E.L. James and Shakespeare, if ever the twain shall meet), is seeking the perfect gent to tie, er, suit up as the Fifty Shades of Grey stud for its next attraction (to put it mildly), "An Evening With Mr. Grey."
"It will be a fun job, and we will of course expect the chosen candidate to act with decency and decorum," Ben Pugh, events and engagement manager for the Falstaff Experience, told the Birmingham Mail.
"It is a light-hearted experience, that will allow the visitors to celebrate a good time, drawing on some of the themes from popular Fifty Shades trilogy," Pugh continued. "Humor and fun are at the core of all of our tours and this one will be no different. The real challenge will be to make the very serious character of Mr Grey appealing in a fun way.
"We believe the ideal person for this role may have a background in acting, tour guiding or as a holiday rep."
Well, we've heard that Ian Somerhalder would "absolutely" be up for playing the exacting hunk, but we have a feeling he had a big screen in mind when he said so.
The Falstaff Experience is now taking résumés with an eye on booking its first Christian Grey-guided tours at Christmas time.
Ho, ho, ho, indeed!