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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Will This Road Trip Ever End?

RHONJ BRAVO

Like a summer vacation slideshow that never ends, Bravo is stretching out the Napa road trip longer than seems necessary.

The Garden State crew seemed to be going through the motions on tonight's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey: Joe Gorga flashed Tarzan! Again. Joe Giudice said the stupidest stuff! Again. Melissa Gorga fondled her sister-in-law! Again. Well, you get the point.

Of course, there were some dramatic moments—like when Albie Manzo's secret roommate got revealed via speakerphone...

Read more Real Housewives of New Jersey recaps

But Caroline Manzo was so calm when she heard that Albie's girlfriend Lindsey is moving into his Hoboken bachelor pad that we have to assume she already knew...or Albie tranqualized her before coming clean.

Lauren Manzo's reaction to the news (via walkie talkie, was that so wrong?) was sad but at least genuine. "I feel like if they could replace me with their new friends they would and maybe they already have."

Poor Lauren. Between the weight issues, her insecurity over Christopher and Albie's relationship and lack of engagement ring (c'mon Vitto!), she's the show's resident hot mess. And it doesn't help when Big Red (a.k.a. mom) called her an asshole for locking herself in the RV. Ouch!

Read about how Teresa's cookbook still causes drama

We also got one step closer to the epic smackdown between Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita that kept Jacqueline from attending the season three reunion episode. And the wait is killing us (and Caroline, who loves to make dire predictions about how every relationship is going to crash and burn).

As soon as Teresa asked for help with dessert, we were waiting for someone to get creamed with the pie plate. But instead, the sniffly couch session with Jacqueline turned into a major bonding sesh. "I have a soft heart," revealed Teresa. Funny, we always thought Jacqueline was the mush ball but whatever. The fragile peace stands for at least another episode. Keep checking your crystal ball Big Red.

Read about Real Housewives of New Jersey recap: kids vs. grown-ups

In fact, things were so mellow, we found ourselves hoping for, at the very least, a flipped picnic table. Instead, we got Teresa's swollen foot, which was probably a small casualty given the drunken surfing session, and Melissa's relentless ta-ta display. The woman is obviously proud of her paid-for boobs and gave them every opportunity for screen time tonight.

Do you appreciate everyone getting along or are you as anxious as we are to get past the inevitable drama? Are you Team Lauren or Team Everyone Else? Who do you think is having the most fun rocking the RV after dark: the Lauritas, the Gorgas or the Giudices? And has the clip promoting next week's show got you curious after seeing Joe Giudice take a "work" phone call and then hang up quickly, cursing his approaching "bitch wife."

Sound off on all things Jersey in the comments section below!

(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)

See photos from before they were Housewives

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