True Blood fans know it's not a normal day in Bon Temps if Sookie (Anna Paquin) isn't in danger.
The non-shocker of this week's episode is that she doesn't have just one crazy vampire after her, but two. Maybe we should say, at least two. Who knows who might come out of the woodwork? Good thing that girl has learned to answer her door with a gun in hand.
Sookie's danger aside, there's a whole lot of change in town. Between people leaving, people turning, people finding religion, the countdown to the inevitable crazy season finale is really on.
WHAT WE LEARNED
Lost Dog: It's a little like the Wild West up in Merlotte's. Sam (Sam Trammell) isn't taking any chances with the safety of his nonexistent customers, but he has some important things to do, like track down Luna's (Janina Gavankar) puppy—er, daughter. Being a shape-shifter comes in handy when you want to become a mouse and sneak into the Vampire Authority, but how are they going to get out especially now that Emma is less an adorable
direwolf puppy and now a little girl?
Fae Forefathers: Sookie and Jason (Ryan Kwanten) play detective and find some hidden box under the floorboards. We were wondering why Sookie sits around a lot in a bathrobe, but maybe that's due to Paquin's pregnancy. Anyway they find a complicated page of hieroglyphics, that's not a human language (Thanks Professor!), but they quickly learn from the fairies is old school fae promising Sookie to this mysterious Mr. Warlow. Ruh Roh. P.S. Is super old fairy Maurella (Kristina Anapau) preggo with Andy's (Chris Bauer) baby?
Northern Exposure: Hoyt (Jim Parrack) has finally had enough of Louisiana with his kidnapping, the vampire ex, ex best friend and his controlling mother and he's headed to Alaska. It was such a good scene between the complicated threesome. First point of business, when did Jason become one of the more complicated characters in True Blood? And damn can Deborah Ann Woll make us cry some serious blood tears.
Tru Bloody Battle: Poor Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) has to watch Godric (Allan Hyde) die again. (There there, Eric, we'll hold you while you cry.) But he eventually accepts Lillith, begs for forgiveness and forgives Russell (Denis O'Hare) for slaughtering his family. Or does he? We think he's just a good actor.
It was only a matter of time before Russell Edgington got back to his true obsession of walking in the sun. He has great plans of synthesizing fairy blood, breeding fairies, studying them, but first they're going to need some fairies.
Rewind Moment: We had our doubts about Tara (Rutina Wesley) becoming a vampire, but her teaming up with Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) has been awesome. Tara is five times more badass than she used to be and about 1,000 times less whiny. It's a perfect combo. Pam's grudging respect, as well as ours, only grows each week. And it was awesome to see her take the head off that Eric usurper.
Rewind Moment #2: Russell Edgington and Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) slow dancing to Katy Perry's Teenage Dream in a frat house with their slaughtered meal all around them.
"Bought you a new mattress too. California King. I don't approve of the state, but it's good for a boy your size. " —Maxine (Dale Raoul)
"Well f--k me he can count past five." —Pam
"Lilith is a godless god. " —Godric
"We procreate because we want to. Not because some d--khead dipped in afterbirth told us to." —Pam
"I wish I had just one drop of fairy blood to stick in your piehole!" —Russell
"Fine then, I'll make two. I always wanted kids." —Tara
Do you think Eric has really had a change of heart? Did Jessica do the right thing for Hoyt? Could this new vampire be a bigger danger to Sookie than Russell? Sound off in the comments!